The Otherworldly Book
by Selani
Summary: A new book in the Voile Library, a new person in the Bamboo Forest of the Lost, and Yukari waking up a little early. Something is going on, and I don't think anyone knows what it is.
1. Prelude: A ITAB night

**Disclaimer: I do not own Touhou, all copyrights are to their respectful owners, which apparently are more than ZUN.**

_**Prelude: An interesting/Terrifying/Amazing/Boring night.**_

* * *

"Well. This is… Interesting, to say the least."

Today was, in fact, a very interesting day.

On the northern side of a magical place called Gensokyo, surrounded by a lake known for being covered in a chilling frost, on an island that before 25 years ago, had been completely empty save for some wild boars and fairies, stood a grand mansion. Inside that mansion was a library, arguably even grander than the mansion it was in, and was certainly bigger. Deep inside the library was a perfect circle made from rectangle bookshelves, and in the center was a desk with a single book being lit by a single candle, that was putting off more light than you would think a candle could, sitting on it, and two people staring at the book intently.

One of them was dressed in what could best be described as white-pink pajamas with purple stripes and ribbons, equally white-pink fuzzy slippers, and equally white-pink night cap with five colorful ribbons tied to it and a metal moon charm hanging off on one side. She has violet hair and eyes that both matched her stripes perfectly, and was sitting at a chair. She is the witch known publicly as Patchouli Knowledge. The other person was wearing a black sleeveless blazer over a white dress shirt with a red tie tucked into the blazer, and a long black skirt with white trim, and black dress shoes. She has crimson hair that goes down to her waist and deep red eyes that were at the moment covered by rectangle glasses as she examined the book. She has a pair of demon wings on the top of her head and a second pair of larger wings on her back. She is the devil known as Koakuma, and is Patchouli's familiar.

**Earlier:**

"_Let's see, shelf 5 of bookcase 437 on floor 7 in wing C contained 3217 books as of last week. Let's see how many are left…"_

_Koakuma had been tasked with the cleanup from a raid on the library's stock of books earlier that day. Within an hour an estimated 3576 books had been taken, some of them magical, some of them informational, all of them never to be returned. Shelf 5 of bookcase 437 on floor 7 in wing C had been hit especially hard. What had once been a full shelf now had maybe 500 books left, if that. Koakuma now had to check what was left and compare it to the list of books that were there before to get an accurate book list._

"_Let's see here… _Positive and Negative Space, _check. I think she already stole another copy of this. _Flipping the Tables on Elementals, _check. Good, I haven't read that one yet. _Knowing your Left and Right in Subspace, _Umm… I saw that somewhere… Got it! Check. _Knowing when something is being used in the wrong place, _Uh oh…"_

_What a boring job. But a job that must be done none the less._

"_Alright. That's done. Now to put them back… Where… Hmm?" While going to put the books back on the shelf, Koakuma noticed a book that wasn't there before, and wasn't on the list. "What's this?" she asked to no one in particular, as she picked up the book that wasn't there before, and wasn't on the list._

_The book in question was leather bound with gold trimming around the edges, with a fancy spiral design on each corner in a darker gold. It was about 500 pages thick, some of the paper yellowed with age, and the corners were bent upwards. The front and spine had but a single word on them. _Oiin_. The book looked to be read from left to right, which would not have been that odd, as there were a lot of western style books in the library, if_ Oiin_ was not in katakana. This was not the only odd thing about the book either. It also had a lock on it, which no other book in the library, save for extremely powerful magical tomes, had. Yet it had no feeling of power coming from it. And those were in wings 7 and up. The lock itself was also only a centimeter thick, but the keyhole looked to be endless._

"_P-patchouli-sama! There's a book here! " Koakuma yelled for her master, as she was flying across the tops of shelves, heading for the center of the library where Patchouli was resting after the battle with the people who raided her library._

"_Yes, Koakuma. There are books everywhere. Now get back to work. And stop breathing in the dust. It mustn't be doing any good for your head," Patchouli said as Koakuma had landed, still surprised about the book._

"_But it was in wing C and has a lock! NO books in wing C have locks! And they didn't go to anywhere that would have locked books before getting there!" Koakuma was ecstatic now. The book was beginning to creep her out._

"_Hmm? That's odd. Did Alice leave her Grimoire here? Let me see that." Patchouli half grabbed, half ripped the book out of Koakuma's hands. Not that she was complaining. She didn't like touching it._

"_No I don't think so. Her lock looks different, and hers says _Alice _on it, not _Oiin_."_

"_Well. This is…"_

* * *

"…Terrifying, to say the least."

Terrifying was also a good way to describe this day, from your point of view.

On the southern edge of the same magical place of Gensokyo, surrounded by a sea of bamboo that went seemingly endlessly in all directions, was a single human. Now humans aren't supposed to be in this forest alone, or in this part at all for that matter. This part was a training ground that someone used for target practice with apparently incendiary weapons. The targets ranged from wooden cups to straw dummies to… What looked to be previously living human beings? All identical, too. There was a single path heading out of the "Shooting Gallery", but it was blocked by a wall of bamboo that wouldn't look much out of place if the ground didn't have footprints on it from previous people walking along it. This was an unauthorized section of the Bamboo Forest of the Lost.

Fitting name.

The human was male, about 5'10, or 178 cm tall, with dark green eyes and wavy black hairs. He wore a black shirt with a caution sign showing a person running with a shield in front of them and a vial on his back, and underneath it said "Don't Chase". The human also wore blue sweatpants, and no footwear. He was sitting with his back to the not-so-subtly covered exit, staring at the Shooting Gallery in front of him.

_Well this is just great. I'm in a serial killer's shooting gallery, I don't know where this place is, or why it's night and I never woke up, what I was doing previously, who I am at all, who ANYONE was that I interacted with, why someone's narrating me, and why I'm not shaking in the slightest from either the cold or these terrifying revelations!_

_*crrrrack…*_

You hear that? That was the fourth wall. Quit acknowledging me. Only one person can do that and you haven't even met her yet.

_Something is very wrong with this entire setting. And the charred bodies are not helping in the least._

"Well that…"

* * *

"…Was an amazing haul, ze!"

Yes it was. And you made poor Koakuma clean up your mess. Be a bit more courteous next time, and leave a list of books you sto- I mean, borrowed.

On the western side of this very magical place of Gensokyo was an even more magical place, aptly named The Forest of Magic. Where any manner of things could happen, and most likely did. Con-artist sparrows? Check. Man-eating plants? Check. Shark-tooth loli crying at a tree stump? Check. Giant laser beams appearing on a daily basis? Well not just there, but they happen there anyways, so check. Only thing it's missing is someone with a doll army.

Oh, wait, it has that too.

"You say that, but I thought we only took a couple hundred books, hardly an 'amazing haul' for you. What are you hiding..?"

Deep inside the forest was a brown western style house that was slowly being overrun by ivy. A sign next to a path leading towards the house says "Kirisame Magic Shop", but the door has a sign of its own. One side said "Closed", one said "Out for Lunch", one said "Out of Stock", which was a blatant lie, if the piles of stuff in the windows was to say anything. Another side said "Out Youkai Hunting", and the last side of the two sided sign said "Closed", yet again.

Not much of a shop, now are you?

Inside _would_ be a nice house with a couch beneath the windows to the right of the door, a fireplace that was currently lit across from the couch, a kitchen a direct walk from the front door, and stairs leading to the second floor… If it weren't for the fact that there were piles and shelves of stuff EVERYWHERE. The couch had no room on it for anything but clothes and jars of mushrooms, the fireplace was a fire hazard, the kitchen was completely black as if a bomb had gone off, which probably happened, the spice rack contained more unidentifiable liquids than a mad scientists lab, and the dining table was currently covered in hundreds of books.

Honestly. Even if this was a proper store, none of this stuff would be sold. Well maybe the books.

Sitting at one end of the book-covered table was what would be best described as a flat-chested witch. She had blonde hair and blonde eyes, however that happens. Even purple was more understandable. She was wearing a giant witch hat with a white bow tied around it, a black button-up blouse with white sleeves, a white apron, and a black skirt. This is the ordinary magician known as Marisa Kirisame. Odd that the one in a witch costume goes by the title "Magician"… Oh, and she is wearing… Clogs? Okay then…

Sitting at the other end was a more naturally dressed person. She was wearing a blue dress with white puffy sleeves and a white shawl with a green line going around the edge. She also had a pink ribbon around her waist and another tying her shawl to her neck. She had blonde hair with a pink headband in it and orange eyes that seemingly change to red when she's annoyed at you. Just a coincidence, I'm sure. She also had doll floating above her left shoulder wearing a black dress with a white apron. It had blue eyes and blonde hair, and probably was primed to explode at the twitch of a finger. This is the witch and puppeteer Alice Margatroid. Oh look, another witch that isn't dressed as a witch.

Oh, Alice also wears boots. Why is footwear so important?

"I-I wasn't talking about the books, I was talking about the fight with Patchouli!" Marisa was currently trying to defend herself from Alice, who doesn't seem to miss a beat.

"It went the same as all your fights with her do. She throws whatever element she's practicing that day at you, you get bored of dodging it and you blast her with a Master Spark. My fight with Sakuya was more amazing, and that ended just about as fast." Alice's eyes were starting to turn red as she bored deeper into Marisa's skull.

"E-ehe, I-I stil thought that-"

"Let me see your hat."

Uh-oh. "M-m-my hat? W-why would you want m-my hat?"

"You seem to be holding onto it very tightly right now… Do you have a pocket dimension in there?"

"Uhm…" While Marisa was looking for a way to escape her own house, which isn't very easily with all that stuff at the windows, Alice's silent companion was floating behind Marisa, just inches away from grabbing he-

"AAH!"

Never mind. It got her hat.

"Thank you Shanghai. Now, what do we have here..?"

"Well… This …"

* * *

"…is getting to be very boring."

Boring for you, interesting for Patchouli, terrifying for the mysterious bamboo forest person, and about to be very painful for one magician.

On the Eastern edge of this very magical and _not _boring place of Gensokyo, there is a very large staircase that lead to a small run-down Shinto shrine surrounded by trees, with a lake and cherry trees behind it, and an empty donation box in front. To the side is a storehouse and the current residence of Gensokyo's hardest partier. This was the Hakurei Shrine, and the only gate between the outside world and Gensokyo.

Sitting against a support pillar for the shrine is a shrine maiden dressed in a non-traditional red and white shrine maiden outfit, with detatched sleeves and a yellow neckerchief around her, well neck. She has a red bow in her hair, a broom in her left hand, and a cup of tea in her right. She was enjoying the peace of the night, until she realized just how little action has happened recently.

Why don't you go steal some books then? It seems to keep Marisa's attention.

…

Oh, right. The whole "Pure and righteous Miko" thing. Then why do you drink sake and make friends with Youkai? Whatever.

"Sigh… It's been almost a year since the last incident. Youkai have been keeping to themselves, Marisa hasn't even bothered to come over the past couple of days, and Yukari won't wake up for at least a week. So no hopes for an incident from her… Sooooo bored."

Get a hobby, go train, go talk to your turtle, go visit Marisa then. Just DO something you laz-

* * *

"Yawn… He was starting to annoy me," a voice said, seemingly out of nowhere.

"Oh, Yukari. I thought you wake up next week? And who were you talking about?" the Miko responded, not surprised in the slightest.

"Oh, just someone past the barriers."

"'Barriers'? Plural?"

"Yup. The Hakurei, and the fourth."

"I…" Reimu stumbled over her words, slightly bewildered that 'the fourth' is enough of an explanation by Yukari. "Just start your incident already…"

"Do I need to? Since you weren't expecting me, I was going to go back to sleep for another week~"

"…You do that and I'll start solving it by beating you up."

"Tsk tsk, temper, temper~ At least give me time to make an incident! I don't even have anything prepared!" Yukari finally decides to show herself from wherever she was hiding, seemingly appearing from nowhere, not even her gaps.

She wears a long white dress with a purple tabard draping across her front and back, a white mob cap with a purple ribbon tied around it, and-

* * *

**Okay, can I please stop describing people already? It's getting really boring.**

**_Then__ don't. They should know what we look like._**

**..! Get the HELL out of my room, Yukari! I already have to deal with an OC who may or may not be Medium Aware and now _YOU'RE_ going to interlude on my narrating? !**

**_Yes~_**

**…I hate you. Anyways, continuing on.**

* * *

"You always have something prepared, Yukari. Quit lying."

"Now why would I lie to you~? And besides, do you really think all I do when I hibernate is dream of incidents to create?"

"Why else would you hibernate?"

"A woman needs her beauty sleep~"

"…Whatever. I'm tired. Start something soon, it's VERY boring around here. I'm going to sleep." Reimu got up, turned around, and started walking back into her shrine.

"But I just woke up!"

* * *

**Alright! That... Happened. Not entirely sure what was up with Yukari, but whatever.**

_**I can do what I please~**_

**..! Please go away...**

_**No.**_

**Wonderful. Anyways, I was planning on publishing something else entirely as my first submission to this site, but I kind of can't think of a single thing to write for it! Yay. But on the topic of this story...**

**PLEASE, give me your criticism! Especially on Yukari messing with the 4th wall in story. It's honestly just an excuse to riff on myself when I start getting sloppy with my narration. Which most of this story should hopefully be in first person, (/Bluff, 100) so that shouldn't happen often.**

**That's an interesting book. I wonder what it contains... Doesn't look like we'll know that any time soon.**

**Next time! When Medicine is Magic.**


	2. 1: When Medicine is Magic

**Copyright of Touhou Project post PC-98 is owned by Team Shanghai Alice**

**Ch.1 Where Medicine is Magic**

* * *

_Well this sucks._

Hello. My name is… Well, I don't really know that. Nor where I am, or what time it is, or who that voice was earlier. But one thing I do know is that I'm in a pickle.

I'm stuck in a forest of bamboo, it's cold, I'm in what appears to be someone's shooting gallery, I have the lovely company of charred bodies, I'm hungry, it's sometime around 8, if the setting sun is to say anything. I hear howling off to my right, there's a path behind me but it's blocked, and I don't know my own name. Did I mention it's cold? Also, where did this bamboo come from? As far as I know that doesn't grow anywhere near where I live.

…

_Is… Is that body moving?_

_Oh my god it's moving._

_Don't scream, don't scream, don't screamdon'tscreamDON'TSCREAM!_

"ZOMBIE! ! !"

_Damnit, I said don't scream_!

"..Mmmhph…"

_Uh oh, it's gaining consciousness. Or, at least as much consciousness a zombie can get. PLEASE tell me I have a shovel or something around here…_

"..MMMHMUMUPH!"

"Eep!" _Not good not good not good_!

"..MMNUPUH HUH UH!"

_Okay, maybe this is hell. I'm stuck in here, the place of a serial killer, and its victims are here to torture and eat me. How wonderful._

"_Pwuh! Jeez, normally it doesn't take that long for my mouth to reform. Now who screamed earlier? HE- _*cough cough cough*_ okay, no yelling. Throat still hurts."_

_..Uuuh. Did that zombie just speak Japanese? Well that would explain the bamboo I guess._

"_Hey! Is anyone there? Can you come untie me? I'm not a corpse, I swear!"_

"..Are you talking to me? Oh joy. Not only am I in hell, but I'm in Japanese hell, and I can't even talk to the zombie that's trying to talk to me!"

"_Oh good! Someone _IS_ here! Although, can you speak in Japanese please? I don't really know what you're saying."_

"Uh, what? Can you speak English please? A lot of people in japan know some form or another of English right?" _Maybe not. I don't really remember. Never got the chance to visit. Oh well, at least she looks nice for a zombie… Wait, wasn't she charred not two seconds ago?_

*SNAP!* _"Alright then, don't help me. I'll get out by myself." _The zombie finally had enough and decided that she would break the ropes herself. She hopped off of her makeshift crucifix and looks around for where she is, and whoever decided that speaking common wasn't important enough.

"_Alright. I'm still in the forest, so that's…" _Rotating around, her eyes set on the row of charred bodies, all looking very similar…

"_Aha! So THAT'S what she does with them! Ooh, I so need to start doing this too! EIRIN! Can you clear a space in the yard for my dead Mokou collection? !"_

"Um, why are you screaming at those bodies?"

The zombie, probably remembering that there was someone else there earlier, turns to look at me, sitting in front of a completely inconspicuous hidden pathway. _"Oh, hello. You're the one who wouldn't untie me. Shame you're a human. I need something to hit right abo-" _*rustle rustle*

Behind me, the inconspicuous path decided that it wanted to become more of a path and less of a wall. The path opened to reveal two all new people. One of them had body length pale lavender hair with red charms tied in ribbons throughout it, red pants with red suspenders with the same charms on them, a white tee-shirt, and a very disgruntled expression on her face. She also apparently didn't care for the cold. The other had long purple hair that went down to her waist, wore an overcoat and a purple skirt, and had very distinguishable bunny ears on her head. Even more so because they had socks around them. She obviously didn't like the cold.

"_Reisen!" "Moon Bitch? !" "K-kaguya-hime! Where are your clothes? !"_

"_WHAT!"_ The zombie looked like she was going to murder something, not like zombies didn't always look that way.

"_That's what you get when you play with fire, although I could have sworn I burned you enough that you would have to make a new body. I'm getting sloppy."_

"Kaguya-hime?" Wait, so zombie chick here is royalty, and I think the lavender-haired one just called her a bitchy moon or something like that? Wait, wasn't Kaguya-hime-the one from the Tale of the bamboo cutter- from the moon? Then maybe she said moon bitch. That is, if this is the same person. Probably not, although I don't really know.

"_Hmm? Who are you? How did you get in here? !"_ Noticing me for the first time, the lavender-haired one looked over to me, asking for… Something. I'm not very sure.

"Um, how do I say I don't speak Japanese in Japanese… Um, Nihongo ga wakarimasen?" _Was that right?_

"_Um, did he just say that he doesn't understand Japanese, in Japanese? Well that's ironic and a half." _The zombie apparently understood me, although that didn't help much as they were all still talking in Japanese.

The lavender one started to speak again. _"Reisen, can you take him to Eientei and get him something to help him understand us and vice versa? Me and Kaguya need a little alone time…"_

"_Oh, this will be fun. Reisen, take the boy to the clinic please."_

"_O-okay then…"_

Suddenly, it doesn't feel all that cold.

The rabbit girl, known possibly as Reisen, motioned for me to follow her out of the clearing, which I do without hesitation. I'm all too happy to get away from the zombie princess and the person who possibly just insulted the zombie princess.

_Hopefully wherever she's going to take me I can understand them. Or maybe she's taking me to the next level of hell. I hope it's the former._

…

Why do I smell smoke?

* * *

Back at the library, the Witch and her familiar were very carefully examining their new, mysterious, and most likely dangerous book.

By doing what else but trying to pick the lock?

"A-are you sure we should even be trying this? I-I mean, it's locked for a reason, r-right? Maybe opening it w-would summon a dragon!" Koakuma, still absolutely terrified of the book, was trying to talk her master out of her 'lock picking' which consisted more of trying to melt it with fire, inserting a metal rod into the lock and shifting it to form with it, and a heavy rock than actual lock picking techniques.

"My previous scans would have shown any creature residing inside this book, willingly or otherwise. Hand me another rock." Before her master even finished asking, Koakuma was already in the process of looking for another. Even if she didn't like it, she still had to do what she was told.

"W-why are we trying to smash the l-lock anyway? C-couldn't that damage the book?"

"Sometimes the old fashioned ways are the best."

…Except for when those "old fashioned ways" caused a shockwave of magic energy to shoot out from the book, knocking both Koakuma and Patchouli into a bookshelf behind them with two loud thumps, also dislodging a few books.

"Ugghh… That could have gone better…"

"Mukyu… A- *cough cough* -greed…"

As the two got up and headed back towards their desk, they noticed a third person who hadn't been there previously. She had silver hair tied in braids, with green ribbons tied at the end, grey eyes, and was wearing a blue and white European style maids outfit with long sleeves. She was holding a silver platter with a complete tea set and a plate of cookies in one hand and a golden pocket watch in the other. Sakuya Izayoi, food and all had just materialized out of thin air and was staring quizzically at the completely undamaged book on the desk.

"I may not be an expert on this, but I think hitting magical tomes with rocks is not the best thing to do in any circumstance. Snacks?"

"I would love some, thank you." Patchouli sat back down, taking a cup and a cookie, putting back the books that got knocked down through a slight manipulation of wind. "And I didn't expect there to be any traps on it. My scans showed nothing coming from it."

"They didn't even show that it had any words. Or _anything_ for that matter." Koakuma had sat up on the desk with a cup in her hands, looking at the book as if it would eat her in a matter of seconds. "…Which means there might actually _be_ a dragon in there!"

"Another? I think one is enough." Sakuya had opted for standing, as sitting on the desk isn't very proper, and there were no chairs left around the desk. "And no, I don't count that metal monstrosity you can summon as a true dragon, Patchouli."

"Everybody's a critic… Dragon or not, this book will open for me eventually…"

"Why are you so interested in this one in particular? There are hundreds of millions of books in this library. What makes this one so special?" Sakuya was always curious whenever Patchouli gets interested in something. She usually goes to very large extremes to find answers, at times to the point of having to distort time and space. Times like that are few, but it looks like another might have come.

"Because this one, as Koakuma said, is impossible to read. That could mean anything about its contents. It could contain anything, ranging from nothing to the exact moments of creation."

"Do you really think that it could contain the beginning? That seems a little far-fetched." Sakuya was a little skeptical, and with good reason. Intimate knowledge on when it all began was known only by a few, and of them, maybe one or two even remembered it. "Maybe it's just someone's diary?"

"If it was, I doubt they would have put up such strong protections against finding out their secrets." Koakuma, getting tired of trying to open a book that could be pointless, had picked up a cookie and 'Flipping the Tables on Elementals' and was currently on a section about how useless it is to try to burn an earth elemental. "I know Patchouli-sama doesn't."

"Yes, well- Wait, how would you know..?" Before Patchouli had even realized what her familiar had said, Koakuma was already sprinting down the many corridors of the library to lock herself in her room, probably with a few anti-fire charms on her door. "*sigh…* Well, I guess _that_ happened."

"Maybe you _should_ put some defensive measures on your diary." Sakuya, watching the whole ordeal, was slightly amused at the reactions Koakuma managed to get out of Patchouli. Some of them disgust, some panic, and a lot of embarrassment. This one was a little of all of them.

"Yeah, yeah I guess you're right."

* * *

_Rabbits are cute and all, but why are there so many? And isn't bamboo bad for them, because that seems to be all that's around here to eat._

Following the rabbit girl by the name of Reisen to… Wherever she's taking me, I have learned a few things. One, bamboo gets very dull after a while. Two, mist makes me aware of everything. I'm not sure how to describe it, but it's as if I'm… Connected, to everything. Like some kind of relay system, telling me where things are and exactly what they're doing. And rabbits being rabbits, a lot of them are making more rabbits, which probably answers my original , rabbits don't like me. At least one has bitten me, which got it a large amount of yelling at from Reisen, and I saw 3 sitting on a rock just stop what they were doing and stare intently at me.

_I don't feel very welcome here._

At least Reisen _seems_ to be being nice. Not like I'd be able to understand what she's saying about me. For all I know she could hate my guts and is leading me to somewhere where she can rip them out and stomp on them. _I hope she's nice. I rather like my guts inside of my body._

As we walked and walked for what seemed to be forever, we finally came into view of what could be an ancient Japanese mansion. It looks like something that would fit perfectly surrounded by cherry blossom trees, not necessarily bamboo. But I guess a misty bamboo forest fits just as well, as it was a very creepy mansion. Reisen didn't seem to be fazed in the slightest by the atmosphere as we kept walking towards the entrance.

The inside was just as ominous, and had even more rabbits. Except these rabbits were all more like Reisen, what with them all having humanoid bodies and all. Some of them were dressed up as maids, some as construction workers, and surprisingly enough, some as military personnel. At the front is what's probably supposed to be a receptionist's desk, with a hallway going deeper in to the mansion to the right. To the left is another hallway with a sign overhead that said… Something, and with doors lining either side of the hall. In front was a few chairs and tables, with the tables having something resembling a tabloid on them.

Reisen motioned for me to take a seat, which I gladly did, as she exchanged words with the rabbit sitting at the desk and went down the hallway to the left. The one at the desk was dressed a little different than the others, opting out of a uniform and instead wore a pink puffy dress and a carrot charm around her neck. She also looked very bored at her job.

She seemed to notice my curiosity, and took out a sign that I assume would say "Back in 5 minutes", considering the 5 on it, and walked over to sit next to me. Up close I can tell just how much shorter than me she is, barely up to my chest, and that the shoes on her feet aren't actually shoes; they're her rabbit feet.

"_I'm about to hit you over the head with a hammer. Run."_

_Wait, what did she say?_ Sensing that she was reaching for something (thank you random mist psychic-ness) I instinctively got out of the chair and started to back away. Seeing me back away, she begins to grin very smugly and begins to chuckle.

"_Oh, _I_ see how it is! I'm sure ya just made up a language, pretended ta not understand a word Reisen was sayin', just ta get the chance ta-" _She was cut short as she fell to the ground in a big pink lump from what seemed to be a _freaking bullet flying over my shoulder and into her skull!_

"OH WHAT IN THE HELL WAS THAT! ?"

I turned around to see that Reisen, who had just walked back into the room, was blushing profusely and holding her hand out in a mock gun style, point one finger at where the pink one's head used to be. _"Damnit Tewi! Don't say things like that!"_

"_Unuu… but Reisen, he moooved!"_ The surprisingly still alive pink rabbit was starting to get up, and- _Is that a _burn mark_ on her head? ! What was she shot with? !_

"_I don't care WHAT he was doing! You don't go and say that to patients, even if they don't understand you!"_

"_Yes, please refrain from saying anything vulgar around patients, Tewi."_ The new voice came from a woman who had come in from the same direction as Reisen. She stood tall with silver hair braided down to her waist, and was wearing what looked to be a nurse's outfit judging by the hat, but with a heavy red-blue motif going on. She also had what I recognized to be constellations all along her dress and vertical lines along the base of the skirt. _I think I've seen those before. Wonder what they were called. "And Udonge, that does not excuse your shooting at her, especially in front of a patient."_

"_Yes master…"_

"_Now, Tewi, get back to your post, and stay there until the princess gets back. Udonge, bring the boy to a room."_

"_Yes master!" "Whatever."_

Whatever they just said, the pink rabbit was getting up to go back to her desk- _They're seriously open this late?_ –looking even more bored, Reisen was motioning for me to get up and follow her down the left hallway, and the nurse was going down the other hallway. As I follow Reisen down the hallway, I begin to notice things, like her never making direct eye contact with anyone, or that she's constantly picking at the socks on her ears. _If they're that uncomfortable, just take them off!_

After a minute or so of walking, we reach a door that she slides open and motions for me to head inside the room that looks like a normal doctor's office, with a few slight changes. For one, everything was lit by candles. Two, the machinery looked much different, although the operations they performed looked to be about the same. Three, the poster on the wall looked to be written in a language closer to Arabic then Japanese. And finally, the table had straps on it for your legs, torso, and head.

_Okay, maybe normal isn't actually the best way to describe this room._

Reisen motions for me to take a seat as she wheels a device that looks like a hybrid between a stethoscope and a heart monitor over to the bench. As I sit down, she flips a few switches on the machine, I see the screen turn on, and I hear… Nothing. _Wow. That's odd. I can usually at least hear the whine of electricity flowing through a device._ Never the less, Reisen, holding up the stethoscope end, _"This might hurt a little,"_ says _something,_ puts it to my head, and flips a switch. _Oh, there it is._

"_Oh who am I kidding? This hurts a lot."_

Aaaand then a few thousand volts of electricity went through my body. _So this is what it feels like to be tazed. It hurts quite a bit less than I imagined. Still FREAKING HURTS though._ As I'm spazzing out on the bench, I catch a quick glimpse of Reisen looking at the monitor with a very puzzled look, as if it was showing Ultros dancing in a bikini. Wait, never mind, that would be more terrifying then puzzling.

"_Why..? Did it break? Did this old thing finally break? That's not good. Not good at all…"_ Another glance at Reisen, and another expression. This time she looked completely distraught. Maybe it didn't give her answers she wanted?

As I slowly regained control over my body, the silver-haired lady from before walks in, carrying a jar of blue fluid. _Huh. Wonder what that is? I doubt a fluid will let me understand them though._ Granted, comparing that to not remembering my own name, appearing in a forest of bamboo, watching a zombie go from charred to not, following a bunny-girl to a mansion in the middle of nowhere, being able to detect things in mist, and one bunny-girl shooting another bunny-girl in the head with a non-lethal bullet that burns, and being able to comprehend that all of this is actually happening, magic medicine is probably the most believable thing yet.

"_Ah, Master! I think the Omni-Sensory graph broke…"_

"_Ah? How so?" _As Silver set down the jar of _stuff_ on a counter, she walked over to Reisen and the machine, and like Reisen, got a very puzzled look on her face. _"Nothing? Nothing at all?"_

"_Well, a high amount of magical energies, but that's it…"_

"_Interesting…" _Silver turned towards the counter that she put the jar on and opened one of the drawers and pulled out a syringe. _"Well in any case, tie him down. I don't think direct brain injections are on his priority list when he goes to the doctors."_

"_Ouch. Not on mine either."_ As Silver was filling the syringe with the blue liquid, Reisen was walking towards me with her big red.. Blue… Gree- Rainbow? When did she get a twin? Why is there a bird on my shoulder? Why is it so _heavy? _Oh, I'm being pushed onto the ginger-bread man by the bird. Amazing. Well, at least I've got plenty of milk in that jar over there. Mmm… Now I'm thirsty… Why is there a hole in the ceiling? Why is there an eye in it? Why is it staring at me?

…

…

Why am I strapped to a table?

"_..You know, Udonge, you could have just pushed him down. It would have been faster. I needed him in the right state of mind."_

"_Uh, sorry Master… It's just much easier that way."_

More talking, more words I can't understand. …The hell just happened back there? I've never done drugs, but I can assume that's what acid or shrooms or something would be like. That's not an exp-

"OW!" A very sharp feeling, probably the syringe from before pierced the top of my skull, and… I suddenly feel very sleepy… Maybe a nap would work… Yes… Nap sounds nice.

…

..Why is the hole still there?

* * *

"Well, that had to hurt."

You'd be surprised. Not the worst he's gone through.

"And probably not the worst he will go through."

Nope, probably not.

Wait, why am I talking to you? Go back to your section!

"But you're interesting! At least tell me what to do with him!"

* * *

"Hmph! Fine. See what I care. I'll just drop him into a basement somewhere."

"..Pardon me Yukari-sama, but who were you just talking to?" I had just walked into the kitchen to make a lunch when I see my master, Yukari, talking to thin air. That's not actually all that uncommon though, as she tended to use that trick to talk to someone without revealing her location or identity.

"Oh, hello Ran my dear~ I was just on the phone with someone concerning-"

"No you weren't. You don't even have your phone on you!" Slightly agitated by my master's blatant lies, even to me, her Shikigami for over one hundred and fifty years, I aggressively pulled out a sack of assorted fruit and vegetables to snack on. _Not like she's going to eat them._ "Besides, who else has a phone in Gensokyo besides you and me?"

"Oh ho, you would be surprised~" Pulling her iPhone out of one of the many rifts through reality she haphazardly makes, she starts listing off contacts that I can only vaguely remember from times in the past. "Let's see, Chiyuri, Yumemi, Renko, Jun'ya, Maribel, Un, Chiyuri, you, Kanako- Although I don't think she knows I have her number~"

"Okay, okay, you've made your point." Munching on a carrot, I followed her out to the living room where with a snap of her fingers the 67'' flat screen blipped to life onto, of all things, an American news channel showing a race. "Wait a second. How do you call Yumemi, Chiyuri, Chiyuri, Renko, and Maribel? Aren't they from the future?"

"Should that stop me?~"

"..No, no I guess not."

Suddenly, on the TV, there was a lot of smoke and people running around and yelling.

"Ooh! I told them not to do that!" As Yukari was venting about one of her many plans gone wrong, she opened a portal to gods know where and stepped through.

_Sigh…_ As I watch the gap close, I walk over to the tv, turn it off the way that doesn't manipulate the border of powered and unpowered, and walked back to my room to finish my lunch.

* * *

…

…

…..

"…waking."

…..

"Mmhuh..?"

"..Udon.. .et hi. .ome ener.. ..blet.."

_Ouuuch… My head huuurts…_

…

.._Someone just put something in my mouth… Ooh, my throat hurts too…_

…

..

.

_OOOOOHmygodwhatjusthappenediwasinjapantherewasazom biearabbitalongroadrabbitsmorerabbitsbamboocreepyv oicecreepyeyecreepycolorsgingerbreadman _"AAAH!"

I was suddenly jolted awake by a burst of energy, remembering everything that happened earlier, including creepy eyes, and then a hole with an eye in it. Mist, syringe, table, something with an Omni-graph of sorts, a rabbit accusing me of making up a language to-

_Wait. Why the hell do I understand those conversations?_

"Well, glad to see you're awake. The ear-splitting scream was a little much though." I turned to my left to see the silver-haired lady from the night before, and I could _understand_ her!

"Where am I, why can I understand you, why did a zombie come to life in front of me last night, and what does that pink rabbit from last night have against me?" While I could understand what she was saying, that didn't mean I actually would understand her responses.

"Eientei, Medicine, Hourai, and jealousy. "

"The hell is a Hourai, why am I in a House of Eternity, why did the person who I think was called Reisen not take the socks off of her head, and what do you know about mist being used as a detection agent for positions and actions of all things animated and inanimate?"

"An island and an immortal, because if you didn't come here you would have never understood anything anyone was saying and would have most likely died in the night, most likely because she was still cold, and that sounds like both an interesting concept and one far out of my specialization. Any more questions?"

"One."

"Yes..?"

"Who am I?" That seemed to confuse her. Hell, it should have confused me, but I guess I'm still in a stage. Possibly acceptance at this point.

"Well, now that was one that I thought you could answer for me. Sans that, why were you in the forest, what's with your clothes, why could you not speak Japanese, why do you come up as non-existent, when is this, where do you think Eientei is, how many fingers was I holding up twenty-two point three five seconds ago, do you happen to have any relatives in the village, does the name 'Yakumo' mean anything to you, and did you see any kind of portal or gap with any number of eyes in it at all in the past 48 hours?"

"Um, you lost me at 'why do you come up as non-existent'. " _That was a lot of questions. And why do I feel that a few of those questions are linked?_

"Think faster. I said-"

"No, no, I heard you the first time." Holding up my hand, I stopped her from repeating her previous assault of questions. "Um, I don't know, I was probably wearing this at the time I got there, because I'm not from Japan, hell if I know, 2013 CE, or AD, whichever, Somewhere in Japan, I don't think I was looking at you at that time, what village, no, and one on the ceiling after I went on some kind of acid trip. And no, it wasn't the trip. It stayed there afterwards." _Where's Reisen? I'd much rather deal with her… I think._ "Any more questions?"

"Lots, but we don't have time for any more. Udonge should be back any minute, and she can lead you to the village from here." As she got up to go to the door, she stopped in place, as if she just remembered something. "Also, did anyone you see last night strike out to you?"

_You mean besides the multitudes of rabbit-girls?_ "Well there was a zombie. She kind of came back to life and started to yell at me."

"Hmm. Anything else about her? Did she seem exceedingly beautiful to you?"

_Well that's not baiting at all._ "I'm not into necrophilia, if that's what you're asking. Although she was kind of pretty. I liked her hair."

"Her… Her hair." She started to act like she was writing something down, probably some kind of mental note-taking strategy, and she continued to walk out of the room. Just before closing the door, she added one final note. "Oh and because you were so kind to ask, my name is Eirin Yagokoro."

_Oh yeah, I guess asking for the name of the person you were just talking to would be polite. _I guess names are far off of my list, considering I don't quite remember any. Speaking of which, I need to have people address me by _something_. Mandark? Naah. Jack? No, too simple. _Jeez, I feel like I'm naming my character in an RPG or something._

After a few minutes of coming up with and shooting down names, the door opened again to reveal Reisen again, this time without the suit and socks, but she kept the tie. "Oh, hello there. Can you come up with a name for me? I kind of don't remember mine."

Shocked, probably partly at my not knowing my own name, and partly because I was doing a headstand on the bench with my back against the wall. "Y-you don't know your own _name? !_"

"Nope. Not a clue. It wasn't on my list of 'things to remember in case I cease to exist' list, apparently." Still going to have to deal with that. Hell, I wonder how they even know that's what the machine meant last night. "Oh, also, magical energies? I don't recall magic ever working for humans. Maybe it's different for the rabbit-girls I _knew_ japan was hiding, but as far as I know, magic is about as non-existent as I apparently am."

"…Well, about the magical energies…" She seemed a little puzzled on how she was going to tell me this, but then she remembered something. "Actually, I'm probably not the best person to tell you about that. You can save that for when we get to the village. It's Monday today, so I was going to take the medicine supplies to the village anyways."

"Well," I say as I hop off the wall, landing dangerously close to some tools that look a lot like a Dentist's setup. "Yeesh. Well, guess we better get going then. Although please do consider coming up with names. I'm running out of ideas."

"Um…" As we were walking out of the room, I noticed just how few bunnies I had seen last night. There were dozens just in this hall, and by the looks of it there were many more down the hall. "Well where I'm from naming someone that isn't your child was essentially making them your slave, so I don't feel enti-"

"As far as I'm concerned, I am no one's slave, so fire your ideas away." Although, for all I know, I _was_ a slave.

"..Well alright then… How about Sonzaishinai?"

"I'd rather my _name_ not be non-existent as well, thank you very much."

"Worth a shot, I guess."

We continued on to the outside where there were _**hundreds**_ more rabbits, some of them-

"Are those rabbits _flying?_"

"Oh yeah, most of us here can fly, just so you know." Well that's something that could have been brought up earlier. Flying of your own power has been a freedom sought after for the longest time, and for there to be people-Well, rabbits, but they're a kind of people too-that _can_, just makes this new whacky Japan even more amazing.

When we get to the center of the front garden we take a right to go to a storehouse that smelled of mint, and lots of it. Reisen goes in for a few minutes and comes out with a large backpack-like carrying case filled with herbs, pastes, and fluids.

"So when you say here, do you mean Eientei, or Japan?"

"I mean Gensokyo." _That's a new term._

"What's a 'Gensokyo'?"

"Oh did my master not tell you? The place you're in right now is called Gensokyo. Eientei is just a place inside of it, to the south-east. Gensokyo is basically what happened to all the monsters and gods from the world you come from."

"Well that's certainly interesting. So would that mean that-"

"Probably, yes."

"But I didn't even get to ask my question!"

"Doesn't matter, the answer is still most likely yes."

"..Alright then."

After we got te medicine we head out the front gate, away from the place known as Eientei and into the place known as the Bamboo Forest of the Lost. _Fitting name. If Reisen wasn't here I would be lost in here for probably the rest of my life._

After about 15 minutes of walking and countless turns that Reisen apparently makes every Monday, we pass by a house that looked very much traditional Japan. Sliding door, paper walls, wooden roof, tied with rope, and a _HUGE _bonsai tree in the window. _How long did it take to grow that? At least a thousand years._

"Who lives here?" I ask, just as we pass by the door.

"The person with lavender hair that you saw last night. She's not very social, so I don't suggest you talk to her."

"Such a nice house though…"

"I've seen and lived in much nicer." _Note to self, ask Reisen for real-estate advice in the future._

After another few minutes of walking we reach the end of the forest, and in the distance I can see…

"An actual village. I thought you were joking."

"Nope. Gensokyo was sealed off from the outside over one hundred years ago. Not much has changed since then."

_So I'm actually in traditional Japan. How wonderful._ "And you said that the worlds monsters live here too?"

"Well we're called Youkai collectively. 'Monsters' is very degrading. It makes us seem like the type that would attack out of the blue."

"So you won't?"

"_I_ won't. Others will."

"_Wonderfull…"_

As we near the village, I start seeing a lot more humans around. Some of them seem to be heading the way we came with large baskets on their backs, some seem to be heading towards a forest up north with heavy scarves over their faces and axes, and others are staring at my clothes as if they were demonic.

As we actually entered the village, I began to notice more identifying traits on buildings. One over there looks like a sweets shop, another looks like a normal house, a clothes shop,-_Note to self, go to at first opportunity._-A cattle barn, a farmers house, and guardian statues.

"Wait, guardian statues? Who lives there?" Someone with those should be important enough to know.

"You're about to find out." We continue onwards until we reach the building with the statues. I say _building_, because it looks lie no home I've ever seen, and it's definitely important. _Maybe it's a monastery. But for what? Christianity as recent I guess, maybe that, but then it wouldn't be guardian dogs, I don't think._ As we head up to the building-_Ooh, got a name… Hehe._-I notice that it has a lot of space on the inside with desks.

"A school?"

"You would be correct in assuming that this is a school, yes. Welcome to the Human Village." The new voice came from behind us. She was wearing a blue dress with a red ribbon and had silver hair with blue highlights. She also had a hat resembling a building that also had a red ribbon on it, and some red runes. "I am Keine Kamishirasawa, teacher at this school. What is your name, sir?"

Reisen speaks before I can even open my mouth, "He doesn't remember."

"No, I don't remember, but I came up with one along the way."

"And what exactly was wrong with Sonzaishinai?"

"I'm not non-existent, thank you." I turn back towards Keine, "Hello there miss Kamishirasawa, call me Seren."

* * *

**Hello again!**

**I'm actually a little proud of myself for getting past this chapter, because of so many distractions. 1. Discovering osu! 2. Playing Hisoutensoku and the Hopeless Masquerade demo with friends. 3. Discovering Sengoku Gensokyo. 4. Discovering Age of Wushu. 5. ARAM mode in SMiTE. 6. Super Adventure Box in Guildwars 2, which is freaking addicting. More so than the previous ones combined. And last but most importantly, 7. Having to write a 30+ page paper on Ancient China for a class at my school. And it's due in two weeks. Oh well. At least for the other 7 weeks of the class I can murder everyone else with that paper. Hehe.**

**But personal distractions aside, I think I had too much dialogue in this chapter, not enough descriptions of what's happening as they talk. I'll have to work on that. I shouldn't really bash on myself, but that's how I notice my flaws. And yes, Seren can pronounce Kamishirasawa correctly on his first try, as could I. I honestly don't see much difficulty in it.**

**So Kaguya is terrifying after she dies. And that book could very well contain a dragon. Or anything for that matter. My bets on- Oh wait, that wouldn't be a fair bet! I already know! Also Yukari, please stay in your own sections. Also, I know Reisen is much more timid around humans, but I needed some way to get him to understand why rabbits were flying around Eientei.**

**Also for the allusion to the bombings that happened yesterday, I'm sorry if that offended anyone, it was just the first thing that came to mind when I wanted Yukari to stop paying attention to Seren. It's a terrible thing that happened there, and I hope the person who did it get's the death sentence if-No, _when__ they are caught._**

**_Until next time! Ch.2 A match made by chance._**


	3. 2: A Match made by Chance

**Copyright of all Touhou characters post-PC98 are property of Team shanghai Alice and it's glorious drunken mastermind of a leader, ZUN.**

**Chapter 2: A Match made by Chance**

* * *

Oh_ how I wish I could actually pay for stuff. I really could use something to pass the time._

It's been about a week since I first got to the village. The people are nice, the food is good, and the kids enjoy themselves. Keine is also nice, although don't piss her off. Headbutts hurt. But besides that, she's been nice enough to pay for necessities like a new set of clothes, food, and some good luck charms from a shop that happened to be next to the tailors. I've been trying to find a job to get my own form of income instead of leeching off of Keine so much, but no one is really hiring full time. There was the option of going to a place called Kourindou, but it's too close to the Forest of Magic for my comfort.

Besides paying for me, Keine also found me a house to stay in at the north-western edge of the village. Although when I asked her to tell me about where I was, and why, she seemed a little hesitant. But she eventually gave in, and I got the crash course on this odd place called Gensokyo.

The first and most important thing was that Youkai are bad. There were a few exceptions, but the general consensus was that if I see one, pretend I forgot something and run the hell away. Next was the forest; Avoid at all costs. It's filled with Youkai, man-eating plants, and toxic air. Then there was the statue of a dragon that was in the town square. Apparently, when Gensokyo was created, 100-some years ago, and a Dragon had descended upon the land, and has been watching over it ever since. To pay tribute, the humans had the Kappa build a statue in the square that people routinely prayed at. Its eyes could also predict the weather, but I doubt that.

She also mentioned that there were fairies all over the place, causing this place to be filled with magic. Now magic has always interested me, so of course the first question I ask is if I would be able to learn it. Her exact words were "Even if it were possible, which it might be if what Reisen said about you means anything, the people who could help you with that are either far too dangerous or in far too dangerous of a place for me to let you go in good conscious." So yeah. I'm being held back from the ultimate energy of magic because the people who learn magic are crazy. That sucks.

A few more things popped up like the mountain to the north, the fields to the south, and the temple to the south-west. This then led to the oh-so important topic of Religion. Originally, the only place of worship was a Shinto shrine called the Hakurei Shrine, to the east run by the Hakurei Miko. She was the one that kept this world from falling apart by keeping the barrier around us intact. But a few years ago another shrine appeared on the mountain, the Moriya Shrine, with two _physical_ gods there. That was a little much to swallow. Then shortly after, a Buddhist temple was built-Actually, _landed_ is a more appropriate word-to the south-west that was run by a Youkai-loving Monk who achieved eternal youth through the Youkai's magic. On top of that, the temple was built on top of an old Taoist Monastery, to prevent the resurrection of Prince Shoutoku. Unsuccessfully, I might add.

Another topic that was equally as important was that of Incidents. Apparently every few months or so, someone will start up something that will need to be solved. These could range from mildly annoying to apocalyptic. Because of these Incidents, the village has been going closer and closer to the religions of the land, and a war was beginning to break out between the Shinto, Buddhists, and Taoists. (I'm rooting for the Buddhists myself.)

After she finished explaining the important parts, she showed me around the village to places like the flower shop, the sweets shop, the blacksmith, the farms, the tailor, the craftsmen, the many grocery shops and food stands, the tavern, and a bookshop. We also stopped by a place inhabited by the Hieda family, and I was told about her line of reincarnations. That seems like it would be tiring and annoying, knowing lives you've never lived. But it's a power none the less, and it's one more than I have. Although when I asked Keine if she had one, she just completely ignored me.

Eventually we got to my house, which was a little out of use, and we parted ways. She went back to her classroom to teach the afternoon class and I went into my new house. The first thing that I notice is the fact that it was already furnished with a small table low to the ground, a storage chest, and a small table to put stuff on. There are also stairs that lead upstairs to the room that has a desk, a few mats, and a window overlooking most of the village. The second thing I noticed was a cat lying half underneath the low table. I decided to ignore it and go to find something to do. The first thing that came to mind was to get on a computer, which immediately made me feel stupid. So I found a single book in a side room and sat down on the other side of the small table to read.

I've read that same book 5 times now, and it's getting very boring. It was about some person going to a pace named Kappa, where babies could abort themselves and people who are unemployed get skinned and the skin is provided for food. Creepy. I was also surprised that not only could I speak Japanese, but I could _read_ it. Also, when the cat woke up, instead of hissing at me and leaving, it just walked up to me and stared at me. It also had two tails, which was scary since that meant it was some form or another of Youkai. Although if it was dangerous, I would be dead by now since it's been staying with me all week. I have a new pet Youkai, yay. Needless to say I haven't told Keine about her yet. I also named her Loki, because she was a black cat and black cats are supposed to bring bad things, just like Loki is the problem for everything that goes wrong. (1)

Today I'm on my way with Keine to a cart that sells Miso soup to talk about something that she considers important. I hope it has to do with magic, but I shouldn't get my hopes up. Even if I could use magic, who's to say I won't immediately blow myself up?

When we get to the stall the first thing I notice was that there was no one there. There's usually someone buying Miso here any time of the day, so it was a bit odd. Keine apparently found it just as odd, as she walked up to the person at the counter and asked "Where is everyone?"

"They all walked off after that Taoist."

"Oh, that's not good." Keine pondered something for a second, then asked "Byakuren was also here earlier, right?"

"Yeah, she left right before her, actually. They were heading to the square." The man pointed down to the road that leads to the center of the village.

"Thanks. Come on, Seren. I have a hunch something is about to happen you might want to see." Keine heads down the road and I follow her, wondering what would happen if a Buddhist and a Taoist walked in to a bar. Not that a Buddhist would go to a bar, but hey.

* * *

Back at the Scarlet Devil Mansion, there was an unusual calm. There were no sounds of metal hitting metal or fire roaring from the basement, the maids were not dropping things, and everything seemed to be at peace.

…Until there was a very large explosion from the basement, rattling every window, shelf, and table throughout the mansion.

"Thank you for trying Flandre… I should have guessed that you wouldn't be able to." Patchouli had just about given up with the book at this point. Even Flandre Scarlet, the embodiment of destruction, couldn't faze the book. Not only could she not see its eye, but Laevateinn did absolutely nothing but decimate the table the book was residing on.

"This book is weird. Why can't it be broken? I thought everything could," Flandre said, wondering the same thing that Patchouli was at this point.

"I don't know, Flandre. I just don't know." This was a deep blow to Patchouli. Admitting she didn't know something to someone such as Flandre, who looked up to patchouli as a mentor, was very disheartening.

"Okay… Hey!" Flandre, suddenly with a lot of enthusiasm, said "Why don't you find the person who owns it? They should know how to open it, right?"

Patchouli had to process this for a second. _Such a simple idea, but…_ "Yes… Yes they would! Thank you Flandre!" Patchouli started clearing the area that was covered in ashes with wind when she heard a very loud and very familiar crash on the south side of the library. "Ooh! I am _not _in the mood for this today!" She said as she flew up and charged down south. Flandre was about to follow, hoping that it was Marisa, but her highly sharp sense of smell could smell the meal Sakuya was preparing, and decided to head back into the main mansion.

Before Patchouli had landed at the scene of the intrusion after several minutes of flying, Koakuma was already there, having been beaten by the intruder, and was cleaning up the broken window. "Koakuma!" At the sound of her master's voice, she dropped what she was doing and flew straight to her. "Which way did she go?" The devil pointed to the direction that Patchouli had just come from.

Swearing under her breath, Patchouli did an about-face and headed back the way she came, wondering just how she had missed her.

Far down the pathway, there were telltale signs of Marisa's thievery; many books were lying on the ground, and many more were just plain missing. Quite a few of these were just fiction, but because of Patchouli's organization there were a few powerful Grimoire's among the missing. As she drew closer to the center of the library, she could hear Marisa's footsteps. _I've got you now…_

Emerging from the numerous shelves, she saw her. Marisa Kirisame, the thieving rat, with a burlap sack, holding that book. That indestructible, unyielding book. The one that to it even utter destruction was a mere annoyance.

"_HOLD IT!_" Patchouli screamed. _If she got that book…_

"Shit, I thought I could avoid you this time…" Marisa was quickly darting her eyes across the room, looking for a quick escape route. But Patchouli, and a massive earthen barrier, were both blocking her best choice.

"You… Put that book down…"

"Ah ah ah! You know the rules, da ze!" Marisa was pulling out her Hakkero from her hat, and placing her bag next to one of the bookshelves. "6 cards. You can manage that today, can-" Marisa was cut short by a barrage of fireball bullets aimed at her head.

As she jumped away from the cheap shot, she started firing off her own stars and missiles. Patchouli destroyed them with a sweeping laser, and aimed a second one for Marisa's landing spot. But before Marisa could land, her broom had caught her, and both she and Patchouli took to the air. Patchouli called her card first. Holding a book in one hand, she pulled out her piece of paper, and crushed it.

**Water Sign** "Bury in lake"!

As she opened her hand, she shot out small blue bullets and surrounded Marisa with walls of ice that were quickly closing in. Marisa easily sidestepped the blue bullets, but as the walls disappeared, large bubbles of water also shot from Patchouli. Marisa shot straight through all of the bubbles and nailed Patchouli in the leg with a star, ending her card.

"My turn!" Marisa reached into her hat and pulled out one of her own cards and, just as Patchouli did, crushed it in her hand.

**Magic Sign** "Asteroid Belt"!

She lifted her arm into the air, and when she opened her hand, arms of large stars started swirling around her. Smaller stars were also being shot around by Marisa's free right hand. Patchouli having just recovered from her hit was _following_ the large arms, and moving closer and farther from Marisa to avoid the smaller stars.

As Patchouli was spinning around Marisa, she began shooting blades of metal in the general direction of Marisa, as it was hard to tell where she was exactly with all of the stars. Eventually she made contact and Marisa's card ended. Not even waiting for Marisa's eventual retort about hitting her, she immediately pulled out another card and instead of crushing it, raised it in the air and shot it with a laser.

**Earth Metal Sign** "Emerald Megalith"!

From the card hundreds of emeralds of all sizes started flying through the air and at Marisa. Sweeping through and shooting down as many large chunks of gem as she can, Marisa is struck by one from behind, and loses her balance on her broom. Taking the advantage, Patchouli prepares another card, this time crushing it again.

**Metal Water Sign** "Mercury Poison"!

Opening her hand above her, Patchouli released many swirling globs of liquid metal. It was attacks like these that have deteriorated her health so much, but they're effective none the less.

"Hey! That's not fair! Two in a row is cheap!" Marisa had just got back on her broom and was having to dodge many deadly orbs that aren't actually currently deadly.

"But not against the rules." It's true. Nothing in the spell card rules say anything about doubling up attacks. Hell, you could use all of your cards before the opponent could even use one and it would be legal.

Deciding that enough was enough, Marisa decided to counter Patchouli's spell with one of her own.

**Light Blast** "Shoot The Moon"!

Throwing many more jars than one could possibly hold on their person, Marisa was causing lasers to shoot up at Patchouli from the ground while shooting stars at her from her free hand. One of the lasers clipped Patchouli's arm and knocked her out of her card. Not before one of the spinning orbs hit Marisa's broom, however. And since vehicles and armor count as the person using them, that counted as a hit.

**Metal Sign** "Metal Fatigue"!

Not giving Marisa the chance to pull out another card, Patchouli started shooting more globs of metal. This time, they were all of a golden color, and when they got far enough away they split apart. And again, and again, and again, until they completely encased Marisa.

"Oh, you wanna do this? Fine!" Raising her Hakkero, she called out her next card.

**Love Sign** "Master Spark"!

Extending the "A" in Spark, a giant rainbow laser of love sprung forth from Marisa's cage of gold, and directly at Patchouli. A direct hit immediately ended her card, and caused her to stumble around for a bit. Taking the advantage of her disoriented state, Marisa called forth her fifth card.

**Black Magic** "Event Horizon"!

Marisa shot out multiple magic circles from her Hakkero, each one trailing stars behind it. They swirled around and around surrounding Patchouli and Marisa in walls of stars, and then Marisa pulled them back, scoring another hit on Patchouli.

However Patchouli would not give up, and continued to get up. She pulled out her fifth card and activated it.

**Metal Sign** "Silver Dragon"!

Shooting out bright silver blobs, she started throwing walls of silver at Marisa, hoping to score another hit before her Asthma started to eat at her. Much to her dismay though, she was not very good at aiming, and was missing Marisa entirely. She was barely moving, either. Then Marisa shot a thin laser right at her midsection, knocking her out of her card.

"Are you done yet? Jeez, you must really want that book." Marisa leaned back in an invisible chair on her broom, tossing her Hakkero up and down.

"Oh, you don't even _know_…" Instead of pulling out her final card, she flipped to a page in her book, and started chanting.

"_Equi ignei, attrahendam currum istum jam sole trans inimicum meum!"_ (2) A card appeared in the air in a flash of light, and Patchouli shot at it with a ball of fire.

**Sun Metal Sign** "Golden Chariot"!

The card explodes into a miniature sun that starts to spin in circles around Patchouli, leaving behind orbs of flame. As it begins to reach the area that Marisa is in, another one spawns in front of Patchouli, rotating the other way. Marisa hops back into a ready stance and starts weaving through the lines of fire.

As she begins to move though, the lines begin to move around, causing chaos and disorientation. Another sun spawned, spinning in the same direction as the first, and leaving more fire behind it. "Damn, this one's tough, ze! Your Sun cards are always fun, Patchy! But I gotta go, so it's time to end this!" Finding a safe spot among the chaos, Marisa puts her Hakkero on the end of her broom, and pulls out her final card.

**Comet** "Blazing Star"!

Shooting a Master Spark behind her, Marisa rams straight into Patchouli, ending her card and knocking her down one of the rows of bookshelves. Keeping her card on, she turns and grabs her bag, and rockets out of the library through the same window she came through, and out over the lake.

* * *

As we approach the square, we spot a large circle of people in a circle in front of the statue, all yelling at something. As we approach I begin to make out that they are encouraging a fight between two people, and as we get even closer I can actually see who they are. One of them is Byakuren Hijiri, wearing black and white robes and a red cape, and the other is Toyosatomimi no Miko, wearing her brown robe, purple dress, and earmuffs that say "Harmony". She also has hair in the shape of dog ears.

"You and your whole temple are nothing but Youkai and Youkai lovers! Why would anyone want to go to somewhere overrun with the monsters that want to kill them daily?" By the looks of it, Miko was yelling at Byakuren with insults about siding with Youkai.

"I and my followers' stance on Youkai have nothing to do with our practice of Buddhism. While it would be nice for everyone to believe as I do, I have come to the understanding that it is not yet possible in the foreseeable future." And Byakuren was retorting with calm answers.

"And what exactly do you all do every day, besides sit around and 'meditate'?"

"Our meditation is to find one's inner peace, and in finding that, reaching Nirvana. And in Nirvana we-"

"I think we all know what 'Nirvana' is." Miko rudely interrupted. "It's the point when you no longer exist. Where you are out of your loop of reincarnation and 'at one' with yourself, which means you no longer exist. I, for one, find that terrifying.

"Us Taoists exist for a much different goal, but in a similar way. In finding peace with our world, we grand ourselves immortality. Not just through memory, but through life." She rises her arms in emphasis "I, am living proo…"

"This complicates things…" Keine says, while giving an almost deadly glare at Miko.

I turn to her and ask "Aren't Taoists fine with practicing more than one religion? And for that, is Buddhism even a religion?"

"Normally you would be right," she says, not turning her eyes from Miko "but this war is all about gaining numbers. The more people follow you, the more power you have over the people of Gensokyo. The more power you have, the more things you can change.

"Miko wants to eliminate all Youkai. Byakuren wants Youkai and Humans to live in harmony. Without followers, neither can accomplish this goal." Religion really _IS_ a serious deal here in Gensokyo.

"…we must." I turn back to see Miko and Byakuren floating up into the air. _Why can they fly too?_ "Let's use Miss Hakurei's new rules, then." The crowd was cheering at this point, and dispersing to other areas of the square to look up at what is about to happen. I follow Keine to a bench off to the side and sit down next to her as Byakuren pulls out, what looks to be a pair of sticks.

"I suggest you pay attention." Keine motioned towards the two in the sky. "A lot of these will be happening around you. They are marvelous sights." I look back up and see Byakuren pulling apart the two sticks, revealing… Floating rainbow characters. That's… Uh.

"What the hell is that?" I point to the… _Thing_ that Byakuren was holding on to. As I ask it begins to swirl behind her, acting as an arch over her shoulders.

"Ask her yourself when this is done. I'm sure you would be interested."

As everyone in the crowd quiets down, both Byakuren and Miko just float there. Staring at each other in one of the best zero gravity staring contests I've ever seen. They continue to stare at each other for a good thirty seconds, until eventually someone in the audience coughs, causing Miko to look in their direction. Byakuren takes this opportunity of weakness to charge at her with a strong kick to the gut, knocking Miko into…

"Invisible walls?" Miko had just rebounded in the middle of the air off of something that I couldn't see.

"They keep the combatants in the arena, and spectators out," Keine responded. Apparently invisible walls were a thing now. The crowd began to cheer loudly at Byakuren's hit.

Miko, having recovered after the hit, began with her own assault, of throwing _balls of light_ at Byakuren. _Is that also a perk of being immortal?_ Byakuren easily passed through them in another head on assault at Miko, however this time she was prepared. Pulling out the sword that she was carrying she swung at Byakuren, causing her to retreat from the blade.

Instead of going for physical attacks, Byakuren started firing off her own projectile attacks. _Never going to get over that._ She began launching butterflies and what looks to be shards of something. Miko, instead of phasing through them like Byakuren did, put up a shield to protect herself from the shots. This was apparently what Byakuren had hoped for, as she led in for another direct assault on Miko's midsection.

However Miko could not be fooled twice, and dove underneath Byakuren, leaving behind arrows that hung in the air for a second, and exploded into tiny pellets. Byakuren, unprepared for this, got knocked around a bit, letting Miko in for a few good smacks and a slice with her sword, knocking Byakuren into another invisible wall. The crowd went wild at this, yet again.

As she recovered from the brutal assault, Miko backed away and pulled out something in a vial and drank it. She then began firing lots and lots of those glowing orbs at Byakuren, with a few exploding arrows mixed in for flavor. Byakuren, having recovered, decided that going straight through the shots was the best way again, but instead of trying to tackle Miko, she rose above her and shot a laser and a few butterflies down at her. Most of the butterflies were destroyed by Miko's glowing orbs, but the laser still made a direct hit, stunning her for just long enough for Byakuren to get in a few more punches.

The crowd, once again going absolutely manic at this fight, began to chant for Byakuren. As this chanting began, I noticed a new presence on the bench. When I turn to face this new person, the last thing that I expected to see was in front of me. A witch, carrying a burlap sack, with a giant hat, was staring at the fight. She had more than a few burn marks on her outfit and a stain on her apron. Putting her bag down, she began to boo, and I turned back to the fight to see Miko had gotten a hold on Byakuren, and was throwing her against the invisible walls.

Byakuren managed to break free from the death grip, and dashed far away from Miko. She then pulled out a small slip of paper, and raised it in the air. The crowd went silent for a second, and soon I understood why.

**Good Omen **"Nirvana's Cloudy Way in Purple"!

The first part, while heard, went unspoken, and the second part was spoken by Byakuren herself. The air began to get a bit thicker, and Miko looked a bit apprehensive about going on the offense. So Byakuren decided that she would instead. Dashing at Miko as she raised her hands—presumably to fire more orbs, but nothing happened—she collided with Miko and sent her against the wall. Throwing her scroll-type thing at her, it wrapped around Miko and pulled her back towards Byakuren.

Byakuren then spun around and unleashed a _huge_ flurry of purple fire and shards at Miko, launching her back into the wall. Miko was lying down in midair, and had a glowing red aura around her. Byakuren then slowly floated away, never taking her eyes off of Miko.

"WOO! Go Youchrist!" The crowd had an absolute riot at that part, especially the witch next to me, who yelled that last line.

"Youchrist?" I asked of her. She then turned to me, as if noticing me for the first time.

"You don't know? She's basically the Jesus of Youkai! What with the sacrificing herself for them an' then bein' resurrected an' all."

Oh. "No, I knew all that, I jus-"

**Secret Treasure** "Armillary Sphere of Ikaruga-dera"!

Both me and the witch turn back to the fight as Milo had called her own attack. She then, just like Byakuren, dashed forward and struck "Youchrist" with her sword a few times, and then spun around and unleashed rings of the same glowy orbs she had been using as projectiles. The rings expanded and hit Byakuren, each sphere disappearing as it made contact, As Miko kept sending rings, Byakuren kept getting hit by them, until eventually a sound like a _Pichuun_ happened, and Byakuren was floating face down in the air making the witch boo even louder.

Byakuren got back up and floated towards what I can guess is about the center of the arena, followed shortly by Miko, and the whole thing started again.

I turned back to the witch and said "I haven't seen you around the village. Who're you?"

Looking slightly annoyed that I was interrupting the fight for small-talk, she turned towards me and said "I'm Marisa Kirisame, da ze! Ordinary Magician extraordinaire!"

"M-magician?" I said, completely ignoring the contradiction in what she just said. _YES! This is my chance to learn how to use magic!_ "C-can you teach-"

"No." Startled, I turned around to Keine, who had just interrupted me. "It's far too dangerous for you to learn from her." As she was talking, I caught that Byakuren was scoring more and more hits on Miko in the fight.

I open my mouth to retort, but Marisa does it for me. "Aww, come on Keine! I'm harmless! An' besides, I've always wanted an apprentice."

"No means no," Keine immediately responds. "Ignoring the fact that you just blatantly lied about your threat level, the places that you are most likely to be found are far too dangerous for a normal human." My hopes and dreams were just skyrocketed and then shot down by an orbital strike laser within seconds. I hang my head, not even wanting to pay attention to the fight anymore, until another attack is called.

**Superhuman** "Byakuren Hijiri"!

This one, called by Byakuren, didn't waste any time. Her scroll began flowing through the many colors of the rainbow extremely rapidly, and as it did that, she began to glow blue herself. Byakuren then dashed directly at Miko with speed I could only imagine would break a normal person's neck. She then grabbed Miko and began to throw her around the field, constantly increasing speed and leaving behind blue spheres in their wake. As soon as Byakuren let go of Miko, all of the orbs they left behind homed in onto Miko, causing yet another _Pichuun_ noise. Miko then rose back up and floated towards the center, followed by Byakuren.

The crowd was only getting louder at this point, and Marisa looked happier than ever. _Not that I would know that. I've known her for, what, 3 minutes?_

As the third round began, they both began by firing their projectiles, colliding with each other in the air. Byakuren then summoned a ring of paper that had inscriptions on them around her opponent, and managed to score the first hit. Miko, while knocked back, managed to kick off of the invisible wall and pulled out her sword for a direct stab at Byakuren. She barely managed to avoid it, but she stumbled, leaving her wide open for a long flurry of attacks from Miko. Byakuren then dashed down below Miko and fired her laser and butterflies upwards this time, managing to knock Miko into a daze. She then dashed forward, slammed Miko down towards the ground, and followed her, constantly bouncing her between the ground and invisible walls.

Miko managed to escape, and pulled out another piece of paper. _Why is paper so powerful?_

**Light Sign **"Guse Flash"!

Launching multiple colorful arms of glowy orbs, Miko managed to knock Byakuren around quite a bit, and knocked her over in the air, however that works. The crowd was going absolutely bonkers at this point (I'm running out of escalating synonyms for crazy) and Byakuren wasn't getting up.

"Ha!" Miko exclaimed. "Is that the best the legendary Byakuren Hijiri has to offer? I would think you would have put up more of a fight, what with your time to train in Makai. But all you have to show from that is that scroll of yours." Miko was hovering over the body of Byakuren, who looked absolutely exhausted.

"Well, it looks like that's over…" Keine said, as she began to get up from the bench.

But Marisa seemed to think otherwise. "Come ON, Byakuren! You're not gonna let some princess beat a great magician like you, are ya? !"

"PRINCESS? !" _Ooh. Looks like that struck a nerve._

"Come on, Byakuren! Show her what you're made of! Hi-Ji-Ri! Hi-Ji-Ri!" Marisa began a chant, that rabidly began flowing through the crowd. Eventually everyone was chanting along with her, including me.

"Hi-Ji-Ri! Hi-Ji-Ri!"

She slowly began to get up. "What? !" Miko yelled. "How do you still have strength? !"

"Hi-Ji-Ri! Hi-Ji-Ri!"

Byakuren began to glow a very bright blue, and she seemed completely reinvigorated.

"Hi-Ji-Ri! Hi-Ji-Ri!"

Byakuren pulled out a third piece of paper, and crushed it in her hands. "Let me show you what my time in Makai actually _did_ give me…"

**Great Magic** "Devil's Recitation"!

Channeling the crowd's energies, Byakuren summoned four lotuses of magical energy behind her, and from them shot four giant red lasers, directly at Miko. The lotuses also began shooting arrowheads, and glowing spheres, and large red bubbles, all directly towards their target.

In other words, Byakuren just decimated Toyosatomimi no Miko.

* * *

Back at the Scarlet Devil Mansion, a distraught witch was coughing at her desk, trying to formulate how she would get her precious mystery book back, when her familiar appeared carrying a saucer with some water in it.

"Hello-*cough cough*-Koakuma." Patchouli said, reaching out for the dish. "Thank you for the water."

"Oh, I should have thought of that-This isn't to drink," the Devil said, setting the water on the other side of the desk. "This is for tracking the book."

"What? But we couldn't put any charms on it," Patchouli said, getting up from her chair to look into the water. On the surface of the water was a birds-eye view of the human village square-minus the people. "How did you get this to work?"

"I'm not tracking the book, but the bag it's in. When she first came in..."

**Earlier**

_*CRASH!*_

_As Koakuma was putting away a few dozen books into new shelves, an uninvited guest had decided to drop in very loudly, causing her to drop her tower of books she was carrying, just after she had picked them up from another startle from another loud noise._

"_Hiya, Koa!" Koakuma turned to face the intruder of Miss Kirisame, and eyed her burlap sack, ready to steal anything and everything. "I don't s'pose you could not tell Patchy about this, could ya?"_

"_Not like it would make much of a difference. That was almost as loud as the explosion a few seconds ago." Koakuma was of course referencing the poor unfortunate table's fate. As she floated higher into the sky to meet with Marisa at eye level, she started to formulate a plan to get all of their books back._

"_Oh yeah, what _was_ that?" Marisa asked, leaning back on her broom._

_While her plan wasn't quite complete, Koakuma took this opportunity to charge at the human. Not noticing in time, Marisa was glomped by a devil who, on any other day, probably would have done that anyways. " 'Ey! Get off of me!" Trying to shake her off, Marisa could do nothing to shake off the familiar's death grip._

Okay, dish of water—one's _somewhere_ in my room—object to be tracked—this bag would work perfectly!_ Summoning a magic circle in her hand, Koakuma shot a small, silent bolt of magic at the opening of the sack that Marisa was carrying. Just as she did that, Marisa had managed to shake the little devil off of her, and shot at her with a few missiles, causing her to land to the ground, only half conscious._

**Present**

"..And then you came along." Koakuma finished.

"Very good, Koakuma. You-*cough cough*-You go. I'm not in the position to leave right now. I'm going to ta-*cough*-take a nap..." Patchouli begun to float to her room and Koakuma looked back down to the dish of water, which showed that the bag was moving slowly towards the north-west.

* * *

_Even though Marisa had completely abandoned this bag, I still feel pretty bad about just taking it. I mean I would have asked, except she flew off with Byakuren after that fight._

On my way back to my house I got a few odd looks from the people on the streets because of the giant sack that I was carrying around on my back. But I ignored them, and just kept walking back towards my house. When I got there I noticed that Loki was asleep under the table again, just like I had found her when I first got here. She looked so peaceful like that.

I went upstairs to my room, went to my desk and dropped the bag on it, sat down, and prepared to find out what was inside. As I untied the string, I felt a strange sense of... _Familiarity_, coming from the inside. I looked inside to fins dozens upon dozens of books, more than could possibly fit in that bag. The first one that I pulled out just said "Merlin" on the front and nothing else. The next few were some stories, then another book with just a name, then a dozen or so more stories. Near the bottom, I spot a book that stands out a little from the rest.

It was a leather-bound book with spiral drawings on the corners and a lock on the open end. Pulling it out made me feel... I don't know what it made me feel. Nostalgia, I guess? Some form of connection? Either way, this one I was going to spend the most time with... If I can read it. Unlike the other books with names on them, this one wasn't in Japanese. It looked like a few S's in English with an equals sign in front of them, but the S's were a little off.

I looked at the lock, and found no keyhole anywhere. So, on a hunch, I reached for it and pulled. A small click and the book was open. I flipped through a few pages and, to my dismay; all of the text was the same runic symbols after another. A few of the pages had designs on them, one of them looked like it was for some kind of mech, another was what I could assume would be a magic symbol, and then a map of some kind.

Skipping over a few hundred more pages, more than the book even had, come to think of it, somewhere in between the writing changed drastically. This one was much more confusing. Runic symbols like the last one, except these were much closer together and ordered like Hieroglyphics. _This is getting a little weird. For all I know this is the Necronomicon._ I decide to close the book, but I can't bring myself to put it down. So I just set it in my lap and keep looking through the bag.

As soon as I do that though, I hear a loud knocking at my door with someone on the other side yelling. I get up, pick up the book, go back down the stairs, and begin to actually make out what they were saying.

"..here to take back all of those books you've taken from us!" _Oh shit._ I hasten my speed down the stair and open the door, revealing a Youkai with demon wings on her head, and another pair on her back. Crimson hair, black dress, and a tie for whatever reason. She also looked absolutely furious.

"I'm sorry!" I immediately say, backing away just a little. "Marisa just left the bag, and I was selfish and brought it back with me and-"

"Wait." She said, holding her hand to signal her will for me to stop talking. "You took, the bag, from Marisa?"

"Yes, I took it! She just left without it, flying off with Byakuren, so I thought it wasn't that important! But if she wants it back, I'll go get it!" I say, pointing up the stairs to where the stacks of books are.

"Hold on, first, I'm not with Marisa. Second-"She stops, eyeing the book that's in my hand. "...You can keep those books. I only need the one in your hand."

That stops me for a second. _Just this book? But... _"No." I step a bit farther away from the doorway again, holding the book closer to me. As I do that, the feeling that I have gets stronger.

"Why not?" She asks as she steps into my house. She has this look on her face, like a predator hunting their prey. "I'm sure I could... _Trade_, for it." She just keeps walking towards me, and I eventually back into a wall. "Besides. You don't even have the key for it!"

"K-key? It doesn't need a key..." I hold the book in one hand, and pull the lock off just like before, and open it to a random page. I hear a gasp, and look back up to see her backing away from me, and I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding in.

"How did you..? You're..." She seems to get herself under control and stands back up properly. "..What's your name?"

"S-seren. Just Seren."

"Seren..." She seems to be lost in thought. She begins to pace around the room. I notice that Loki had gotten up at this point and was just sitting on the table, looking between me and the devil. Eventually she stops pacing and turns to look at me.

"Alright. You're coming with me." She walks over to the door and waves at it, beckoning for me to leave. I take a couple of steps towards the door before I remember that following a youkai is a very bad idea.

"..No. I don't know what you're going to do to me." I stand in place, and she gets a little annoyed. She walks over to me, tilting her head to one side.

"Alright then. We'll do this the hard way." Halfway across the room she lunges at me, knocking me down and pinning me to the ground by my shoulders. I feel a sharp pain, like lightning coursing through my body from my arm, but the pain subsides as fast as it appeared. While her grip on me felt strong, as I tried to push her off I found that I could do it with ease, and pushed her across the room to my left.

I get up and run out of the house with my book close to my chest, and the devil gets up and follows, although a little dazed. I turn around to see how close she was and get pelted by... A giant orb of energy. _Ooh boy. She can do that too?_ The shot knocks me to the ground, and she closes in fast. I can barely feel my shoulder where it hit me, and when I try to get up I just fall back down again.

"There, you made me go and hurt you. Now Miss Patchouli will be mad at me..." She reaches down to pick me up, and I suddenly lose control over my body.

My body pushes her off and on to the ground, and opens to a page in the book. Scrolling its finger across the words, it begins to speak.

"_Tenebris vinculi conligati dum luna abscesserit, permissum permitte umbram tuam ad confundamus!_" (3)

A burst of shadow shards appears from my body, and they begin to swirl around me. I regain control of my body, and begin to spin around, looking at the crazy scene unfolding around me. Eventually all of the shards stop and dash straight towards me. I brace for the pain, yet none comes. I look at me and see that they're combining into some kind of grid on my entire body, and once they finish, my body just... Disappears.

I look back up to see the devil just as confused as I am, and as she begins to get back up, Marisa, who was flying overhead, hops down from her broom and runs over to help her.

"What... What just happened?" Marisa was also just as confused.

"I... I don't know. Come over to the library tomorrow, maybe we'll know by then. _Without_ any of your burglar tendencies, please."

"Oh come on, Koa! I only borrow!" Marisa begins to pout at the devil, which is apparently named Koa.

"Yeah yeah, whatever. Now help me find him. I can't tell you what happened without him." She summons a magic circle in her hand, taps a few things on it, and begins walking around. Marisa does something similar, but puts the circle away afterwards. I just stand there for a few seconds, and then decide to seek help from the only person I actually know.

I turn around and head towards Keine's school.

* * *

Sitting in a room in a house on the border of everything and nothing, Ran Yakumo was watching TV during one of her few breaks. She was watching a movie about a girl accidentally walking into a land fairly similar to Gensokyo—And for some reason Yukari had 15 copies of it.

However the TV decided that this movie has had enough screen-time in this household, because it went to static and started playing odd noises. Through the white noise, you could pick out a few words, although you might be imagining things. Not like Ran would know. She fell asleep 15 minutes ago.

BZZSSH—KSS—"..rgies flowing tow—"ZZZZ

CZHHC—KRSSCH—"..oul reacting to po—"KSS

"..ifeline stable." The static had died away, and you could clearly make out the voices at this point. "I_ _e _ _ _, w_ c_ wi_ut w_ry_ng a_t _ _ _in_." However, it was still cutting out very badly.

One final burst of static, and the TV went back to the movie, as if nothing had happened. And Ran was still sleeping on the couch, not a care in the world.

* * *

As I approached the doors to the school, I hesitate about knocking. _Keine might be teaching a class right now._ But if I don't knock, then those two might actually find me, and then I would be in real trouble. I can handle a few headbutts. So I rapidly knock on the door with as much vigor as Koa when she knocked on my door. After a few more seconds of knocking, Keine eventually comes and opens the door, looking fairly annoyed.

But that annoyed look turns to confusion as she looks around for whoever was knocking on the door. "Keine!" She suddenly jumps back at my voice and falls to the ground, and begins to look around a bit more.

"..Seren? Seren, is that you? Where are you?" As she begins to get up, I realize that I'm still invisible.

"Oh, hold on. How do I stop this..." She seems a little startled still, but I close my eyes and try to focus on... Visibility, I guess. _Worth a shot._ To my surprise, I feel the shards of shadow disappearing all across my body, and when I open my eyes, Keine is as white as a ghost, and the shards are gone. I look into the room where Keine's classes take place and I notice that she indeed does have a class going on. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have interrupted a class, but I... Well, you saw—didn't see—what had happened to me."

Keine is still looking at me, completely at a loss for words. Eventually she walks back into her classroom, and after a minute students begin walking out of the building, heading for their homes. I follow Keine into the class, and find her pacing at the front of the classroom. I sit at one of the many desks and wait for her headbutt. Surprisingly, she doesn't, but instead walks over to me and says "Follow me," and walks out of the building. I get up, grab my book off of the desk, and walk outside with her.

We begin by heading towards the eastern part of the village, and quickly reach the path leading to a large hill. "Stay behind me," Keine says, and I do just that. We continue walking for a good 20 minutes until we reach a large staircase leading to the top of the hill. Keine begins up the stairs, and as I follow, I notice a Torii at the top, along with two figures in the air and many colorful orbs and stars. _I guess shooting magic is commonplace here then._

After the climb, Ii have to sit down against the Torii as Keine continues on. I was never one for stairs, especially not after a two mile walk. I look up to see someone with green hair wearing white and blue clothes carrying a stick with a piece of paper at the end. _Damn paper and its magical properties._ She begins forming a giant star out of glowing orbs, and split it into 5. Then those 5 begin bending and launching themselves at...

_Oh shit._ Marisa. Of all people to be here, at this time, it had to be Marisa. Feeling perfectly fit and fine for a 10 mile run, I get back up and follow Keine to a beaten-up Shinto shrine with a girl, no older than 15, in red and white sitting out front with a drink.

"Keine. What beings you here?" The red-white asks, taking a sip of her drink.

"Unforeseen circumstances." Keine responds. She then places something inside of a box that says "Donations" on the front, takes two bows, claps twice, and then bows once more.

"Thank you." The person in red stands up and looks directly at me, almost through me. "Unforeseen how?"

"Apparently—"

**Love Sign** "Master Spark"!

Suddenly, a loud noise was happening in the direction of the mid-air fight and when I turn around, I see Marisa shooting _a GIANT RAINBOW LASER!_ "OHWHATINTHEFLYINGFUCKISTHAT! ?"

Neither Keine nor the red girl are fazed in the slightest by the giant laser, and as it ends the girl with green hair lands about a foot in front of me, somehow not incinerated. The same _Pichuun_ noise from the fight between Byakuren and Miko earlier that day happened, and Marisa came floating down next to the green-haired one. She reached out her hand to pick her up, and greeny reached out hers to be pulled up. I also notice cute little snake and frog charms in her hair.

"And that," Marisa says, spinning a hexagonal block on her forefinger. "is game. You're cooking." She stops spinning the block and puts it in one of her pockets on her apron.

"Anyway, as I was saying..." Keine begins to explain to reddie how I had gotten to Gensokyo, how I had watched the battle between Byakuren and Miko, and how I had appeared on her doorstep completely invisible. Me, the one I now know as Sanae, and Marisa decide to walk inside and sit around the table, that is also apparently called a Kotatsu, and I explain to Marisa what had happened with Koa.

"So you just took my bag?"

"You just flew off. I wasn't going to follow you. I figured I would give it back the next time I saw you."

Marisa had been looking at me with gleaming eyes, but when I said I would give it back, she looked a little disappointed. "Although you can't have this one back." I say, holding up the book that had saved me earlier.

"That's the one Patchy wouldn't let me take..." She pondered for a second, but was interrupted in her thoughts by Keine and the girl that was affectionately called Armpits by Marisa walked in and sat down around the Kotatsu. At this time, Sanae also walks into the room from where I assume was the kitchen, carrying 5 plates of rice, chicken, and vegetables, and somehow balancing a plate with cups on her head as well. _Now THAT'S talent._ She sets them all around the table, and sits at her own spot across from Marisa.

"*sigh* Sanae, did you really need to make so much?" Armpits said, sitting across from me. "I don't have a lot of food. I don't live near two Harvest Gods like you."

"Harvest Gods?" I ask. "And how did you make that so fast? We were only talking for about two minutes."

"It's a secret to everybody." _Alrighty then..._

Then Keine, Armpits, and Sanae place their hands together and say "_Itadakimasu_", then begin to eat. Marisa skipped the formalities and began digging in as soon as Sanae set her plate down, and I, not knowing what to do, just took a drink of some of the best tea I have ever had.

"So." Armpits said, looking directly at me. "Keine tells me you used magic."

"Yes, I guess I did. And excuse me, but what's your name? Marisa called you Armpits, and I don't think that's your actual name." Marisa flinches away from the Red teams glare, and pulls her giant hat over her eyes.

"Reimu Hakurei. Shrine Maiden of the Hakurei Shrine, and maintainer of the Great Hakurei Barrier." She takes another bite of her food, and I put down my cup.

"Reimu. Much better. Well yes, I do believe I used magic, although I didn't mean to." Sanae looks at me with curious eyes, and Reimu's look on her face just screams death.

So I retell what happened between me and Koa, who is also apparently Koakuma, and why I won't give the book back to Marisa, who apparently stole it.

"I keep telling her, I'm only borrowing them until I die!"

"And yet you're researching immortality. Something about that seems contradictory." Keine says.

"Not as contradictory as unintentionally using magic. That's the sort of thing that just doesn't happen." Marisa retorts. She then looks at me and says "Do it again."

"E-eh? I don't know if I can..."

"Try it."

"Alright..." I begin to focus on the feeling from when I had lost control of my body, and surprisingly enough it came very easily. The shards of shadow shot out from me and this time, instead of spinning around me like before, they immediately shot back towards me, covered my body, and turned me invisible.

Marisa starts grinning wildly, Keine places her forefinger and thumb on her forehead, Reimu just sighs again, and Sanae is completely in shock. "A Twilight Nanosuit..." _Wait a second..._

Reimu rudely interrupted my train of thought by throwing a few charms in my general direction. "Hey, hey! What did I do?"

"Turn it off. I have to give you something." She gets up and walks to a chest in the corner of the room. I deactivate the shadows, and materialize into the air, causing Sanae to say something else inaudible. Something about a Mitori or something.

Reimu pulls out a few blank pieces of paper from the chest and puts them on the Kotatsu. "Take these. I'll explain them in a second." I take the pieces of paper and place them on top of my book. "First, did Keine ever tell you about Danmaku?"

"No, I didn't." Keine said, having finished her food. "But he's watched Byakuren and Miko both fight each other, and he saw some of Sanae and Marisa's battle, so he should put two and two together."

"That's the thing where you try to kill each other with magic, right?" I ask.

"Close enough. You actually can't die during a Danmaku match. One of the rules." Marisa chimed in.

"And the most important." Reimu said, "Danmaku is a fight between two people using their special abilities. Not everyone can form it into Danmaku, but it can take any form; sword slashes, wind, knives, and even echoes have all been used as Danmaku. When a match begins, anything and everything the combatants use becomes non-lethal.

"The goal is to win as stylishly as you can. You win by cancelling out the other person's cards before they do the same to yours. You do that by hitting the person enough times during their card, which in turn breaks the trance." Reimu points to the pieces of paper on my book. "These are spellcards. The ones I gave you are blank, because you have to create them for yourself. I suggest you create one now. Just hold it in your hand and imagine the power."

Skeptical, I grab one of the pieces of paper and imagine myself using the shards of shadow. I feel a warm feeling go through my body, emanating from somewhere around my core. It flows through my body and into my hand, and onto the card. It begins to glow with a dark light, and flashes brightly for a second.

After the light subsides, I can see that it now has a picture of a dark cloud, and some black bullets. On top it had some text. Night "New Moon's Rising".

"Hmm, darkness based. Let me see it." Reimu holds out her hand for the card, and I hand it to her. She places it to her head and the card begins to glow for a bit. "Hmm... Remarkably balanced for a first card... If a little bit like Nue..." _Who or what is a Nue?_

"You should try it out!" Sanae said, causing everyone to look at her. "I mean, your first spellcard! And you're the first male to have one!"

"Miko doesn't count?"

Marisa chipped in to this conversation. "While the princess considers herself a prince, she actually isn't. Although I don't really know why only girls can use them..."

"That's fine by me. Now how do I use this thing?" I said, holding the card between my fingers.

"Why don'tcha try it against Sanae here?" Marisa said, pointing to Sanae who was cleaning up the dishes and taking them back to the kitchen.

"Excuse me for trying to pace things a bit," Keine said, stopping me before I responded. "But shouldn't he learn how to fire Danmaku before he activates a card?"

"Yeah, that should be first." Reimu said, she then got up and started to walk out the door. "Follow me."

I get up and follow her outside where she walks around to the back side of the shrine. Behind there is a pond—more like a small lake—a large cherry tree, a bunch more cherry trees, all a bit smaller, and finally some smaller, much deader trees. Reimu continues walking towards the dead trees, and I pick up the pace to catch up.

"If you can create a spellcard, there is no doubt that you can make Danmaku. Try to focus the same way you focused on casting your magic, except think of a form it should take." Reimu stops in front of the trees and turns to look at me. "Any form will do, but try to make something you'll recognize so you don't mistake their shots for your own."

"Alright." _Seems simple enough. Now what to use, what to use..._ Sanae's words begin to echo through my head. _'It's a secret to everybody'_... Sword beams? Naah. Let's see... The magic rod was a useful item. _Magical wave?_ I close my eyes and focus on what the shot of energy looked like. _Blue... Trailing... Magical... _The same feeling that happened when I created my first card began to happen, although in a much more dulled down way. I open my eyes to see that in my hands was a deep blue crescent-shaped bullet, about 1 foot in width.

"Good. Now, aim at the tree and give your shot momentum."

I do exactly as Reimu says, and give my magic wave some momentum. It shoots directly out of my hands and into the dead tree directly in front of me. Part of the tree was missing—as if something had taken a bite out of it—and Reimu looked impressed. But only slightly.

"Now that you've made one, try a hundred!" Marisa had appeared behind me, encouraging me to completely destroy the tree. _A few more couldn't hurt._

Forming a couple more around my hands, I fire them at the other tree. That tree was apparently much less durable than the first one, because all that was left of it was a couple of branches and the stump. "These are supposed to be non-deadly, right?"

"Non-deadly just means ya don't die." Marisa said, pulling out the same hexagonal block she was holding earlier. "Any form of energy release is still gonna deal some damage." She points the block at the remaining tree and shoots a very wide laser from it, completely destroying the rest of the tree.

"Yeah, and yours are much bigger." I say, a little dazed that a small piece of wood could do that much destruction.

"So, how 'bout using that card of yours?" Marisa shoves the card and book into my face, which I had apparently left back inside.

"Sorry, one problem with that. Can't fly."

"Oh." She looks completely saddened at that, as if she really needed me to use it or she would lose her job or something. _Can you even lose your job as a witch?_

Keine comes back around the shrine and tells me that we should leave. I say my goodbyes to everyone, and Marisa invites me to a place north of the village. She said she would meet me at my house tomorrow morning. I follow Keine back down the stairs, and back across the path to the human village.

By the time we got back to my house it had already gotten dark. _Has it really been that long?_ So I go inside, give Loki a bit of meat, and head upstairs. I set my book on the desk, apart from the huge piles of other books that were in the bag, get changed into more appropriate nightwear, and head to bed.

_Tomorrow, I can already tell, is going to be very interesting._

* * *

**(1) Loki is also the name of **_**my**_** cat!**

**(2) Roughly translates to "Flaming horses, pull this chariot of the sun across my enemy!" Also, it was a Friday when I thought of this card, so metal fight it is!**

**(3) Roughly translates to "Darkness that veils when the moon is gone, allow your shadow to confuse!"**

**Hello again! Damn, over 10k words? That was slightly overkill. I originally didn't plan on having Miko and Byakuren duke it out, but then Seren would have never gotten the bag. Oh well.**

**Speaking of Byakuren and Miko, that entire battle was kind of a preview of what I expect their fighting styles to be like in Hopeless Masquerade. Although the only ones I truely hope happen are Byakuren wrapping the enemy up in her scroll, her ultimate crowd attack being Devil's Recitation, and Superhuman Hijiri being extremely bouncy.**

**The fight between Marisa and Patchouli probably could have been written better and more fleshed out, but neither of them wanted to keep fighting, so they ended their cards fast.**

**So the book reads nothing like Japanese to him, eh? I wonder what that's all about...**

**So that TV, how about that? I honestly don't even remember what it was about after removing all of the letters.**

**And yes, by 'Being a bit like Nue' that card will include clouds obstructing vision. Anyone play Marine Benefit?**

**The extra tidbits are only really going to be used for stuff that unless you were inside my brain you wouldn't get. References and other such things shall stay un-noted.**

**Next time we will be heading up north to the depths of a mans-CASTLE! I called it a castle! Chapter 3: Tiny, Evil Devils**

* * *

Omake:

Koakuma had just reached the edge of the Forest of Magic when she got a signal. "Aha! Gotcha!" Firing an orb in the blips direction, she heard an annoyed grunt.

"Oh you did _NOT_ just do that!" _Uh oh._

"_TWILIGHT SPARK"!_

K.O.

FATALITY


	4. 3: Tiny, Evil Devils

**All characters and scenes depicted (Minus Seren) are copyright of Team Shanghai Alice. Although I guess the spellcard system is copyright of Reimu...**

**Chapter 3: Tiny, Evil Devils.**

* * *

This morning I felt fairly scared. Not only was I going to somewhere outside the protection of the village, I was going there with a witch, and I was going without telling Keine. I shouldn't really be afraid of that last part, but she acts like the protector of everyone here. I can't help but at least feel bad for not telling her. I'll tell her afterwards. Next time, however, I'm telling her beforehand. _If there is a next time..._

Making myself a quick breakfast—by making, I mean grabbing a few fruit and eating them while I paced—I decided I should look through more of the books that Marisa let me keep. Out of the hundred-or-so books that were in the bag, 87 were fiction, 19 were field guides about various Youkai, 5 of them were what look to be magical tomes, and 13 were books on philosophy. _I guess that would be 124 then._ The stories were completely random, but they were usually a complete set of the series. The tomes I could make nothing of; they seemed to need some kind of key to understand how they were written. I began to read some of the philosophy books until a large bang came from downstairs.

"What in the world..?" Picking up my book, the spell card I still don't know how to use, and the blank cards just in case, I head down to the lower floor to see Marisa standing in my kitchen, eating some of the apples I had from a kind lady welcoming me to the house a few days ago. She was the only one to do this, so I can't help but question the house at times. Looking for axe marks, any bones of any kind, and I even spent a day digging in the backyard for a body. All I ended up with was a large hole and some suspicious looks from my neighbor.

"Hiya!" Marisa said, tossing an apple core out the window. "You ready to go?"

"Thanks for knocking." I walked into the kitchen and put the apples back up where a hanging plant would probably go. I don't have much need for plants, although there is a gardening spot out front. Maybe I should try.

"Feet make larger noises," she said. To demonstrate, she kicked the Kotatsu fairly hard, which sent Loki flying out from underneath and out the window, hissing as she passed Marisa. "...Was that a Youkai?"

"Yup," I said. "She makes nice company." I put the Kotatsu back in its place it had shifted from, and grab my boots from underneath. "Don't tell Keine though, she might freak."

"Only," she says, looking around as if Keine was watching us at this very moment. "if you don't tell her about this little trip of ours."

"I didn't plan on it," I lie.

"Alrighty then!" She bounds out the door carrying her broom, and hops on it, making it sit out straight. "Hop on!"

I don't know how she's going to keep us on there, but I hop on anyways. Immediately I feel as if I had just sat into one of the most comfortable armchairs in all of existence. She however seems to stay hunched over forward. Maybe it's more fun that way. Flying at all is perfectly fine for me.

"Hang on!" She yells, even though I'm still right behind her. "This is gonna be a bumpy ride!" She kicks off the ground and my feet are lifted up. We shoot directly into the air, gather speed, do a few loops around my house, and shoot off to the north.

"Where did you say we were going again?" I say, trying to prevent the wind from drowning myself out. I don't really like to yell. Scream, sure, but only when applicable.

"I didn't! The Scarlet Devil Mansion!" Devil. Wonderful. I knew that today as going to be interesting, but going to the residence of a demon is not too high on my to-do list. About up there with skinning myself. _Hell, he might do that for me._

"Why," I manage to say without my voice cracking. "are you taking me to the home of a Demon?"

"Because someone who lives there _really_ wants to see you and that book of yours!"

"O-oh, if that's all." I say, failing to keep my fear contained. _Okay, that's it. I'm going to die._

The next thing that I notice is I'm almost falling off of the broom into a lake. _The hell did a lake appear from?_ "Woah! Don't be fallin' out now!" Marisa yells, who had just barely caught my arm. "Stay awake this time, would'ja?"

I fell asleep? Or did I pass out? It could really be either, but my money's on passing out. "Kind of hard to, when I was just told about someone in a place _LITERALLY CALLED _the Scarlet _Devil_ Mansion wants to see me! And I'm pretty sure it's that Koakuma girl who was trying to drag me away yesterday!"

Marisa suddenly bursts into a laughing fit and we slow down substantially. Slowing down helped me stay a bit calm, and helped me notice that we were not alone. 47.5 feet below us there are two little girls fishing on an ice block, 27.3 feet to our left is a large group of flying little girls, and .74 miles ahead of us is a single Chinese girl, standing at attention. _Wait a second..._ Even with crazy psychic powers at random, I seem to miss the obvious things. The entire lake was completely covered in mist. It was almost fog, even.

Marisa, finally slowing her laughing fit and speeding the broom, began to talk again. "Oh, _she's_ harmless. Just don't look directly at her... Actually, don't look directly at her at all. You _are_ a guy after all." _What's that supposed to mean?_ "It's everyone _else_ you have to be worried about."

"You're not helping!" I suddenly have a hard time of staying upright again.

"Ah, as long as you don't piss on or off any of them you'll be fine." She said, although why she added the 'piss on' part is beyond me. "I'll keep the only truly dangerous one off of you, which is... Wait. Um..." We began to slow down again as she apparently pondered how I would prefer to die.

Before hearing the rest of her… _Reassuring_ comments, I wake up lying face first on the dirt ground. Pushing myself up, I check my surroundings for Marisa. All I see is trees, a dirt path to my right, and a brick wall with a hole in it. What I _don't_ see, is Marisa 128 feet away from me following the wall to the right, talking to the Chinese girl that I could sense earlier. I also don't see that she was holding my book and waving it around, and from what I can tell, is using it as a persuasion tool to let her in. Checking my pocket for the spell card from yesterday, I follow the path to head for the two girls.

Apparently somewhere along the short walk Marisa had said something wrong, because when I got there the Chinese girl was trying to deflect her away instead of hearing her out.

"I don't care if you have a book," she says. "Her orders were quite clear. 'If she does not bring back more than 100 books, she is not allowed in.' I do not believe that book contains any more than itself."

"Aw, come on China! Don't be like that!" Marisa says, holding her arms up to protect herself. _From what? Do words hurt her?_ "Besides, she _really_ wants this book! And-" She stops talking as she notices me, having just walked out of the wooded area. "And him! She wants to see him!"

_Oh great, now _I'm _her pawn._ "I'm sorry, but you still haven't told me who I'm here to see," I say, standing next to Marisa. "And was there any reason I needed to be dropped off into the woods?"

"No particular reason," She says, although I know there's more to it. "And we're here to see Patchy!"

"Apache? Since when were there Indians in Japan?" I say as I take my book back from Marisa. _This is starting to get very confusing…_

"No, no, _Patchy, _as in Patchouli," she says, holding back a laugh. "She's a Witch that lives here."

"And she prefers her privacy, thank you very much." 'China' says.

"Yes, Miss Patchouli does like her privacy, but she would not appreciate you holding back invited guests." A new voice appeared from thin air just as fast as the maid did.

"Woah!" I jump back a couple of steps and put my hands in a claw-like shape at my sides. I have no idea what I planned on doing like this, but it came natural to me.

"S-Sakuya!" China says, taking a step back as well. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't know she was invited!"

" 'S fine." Marisa says. "Although I probably should have told you." She bows towards the maid. "Lead the way."

"As you wish." 'Sakuya' says, as she leads us through the gate. _At least I assume her name is Sakuya. That or mentioning the new moon is an appropriate reaction to being surprised here._ Walking through the absolutely beautiful garden of rainbow flowers-Flowers of all colors, although there were a few actual rainbow flowers-, we reach a large wooden door far to the left of a much larger wooden door, which I assume is the main entrance to this very large mansion; Large enough to warrant its own clock tower.

Sakuya stops a few feet short of the door, seemingly preoccupied by something else. "I'm sorry, but my Mistress calls for me," she says, and then disappears, leaving a Jack of Hearts to float down to the concrete pathway.

I knock on the door, hoping for someone on the other side to hear it. After no one came I turn back to ask Marisa "Are you sure they're home?"

"There are only a few constants in Gensokyo," she says. "One of them is that Patchy is _ALWAYS_ home." She then pushes past me and just opens the door. _Guess I was being nice for nothing._ Following behind her, we walk into...

We walk into the largest room I have ever seen. The wall that the door we just came through is on is the only one I can see, as what i can assume to be a couple of _miles_ in any other direction is just blackness. This wall is covered from bottom to top in books, and in front of us, down a few stories, are rows upon rows of bookshelves, all completely filled. Floating in the air every few rows are glowing blue orbs, possibly to light the area. On the way down-And the way up, this place still goes up for _floors_-are zigzag stairs up against the walkway. The walkway also has no guard rails, presumably because to get here you have to be able to fly, and the entire place was made from marble.

I didn't notice my hanging jaw until Marisa pushed it back into place, causing me to bite my tongue. "Ow! Thuh hewh whush thwat fow?"

"You were gawking." She said. "I'm gonna go on ahead. Just head down those stairs and walk straight. We'll meet you along the way." She points to one of the flights of stairs to my left, and then hops onto her broom to fly off into the depths of the darkness. I head down the stairs, find the central pathway, and start walking. After a few minutes I hear a loud crash to my right. I should run away from anything like that, but I decide I should check it out.

I head over there to see a large mound of books lying in the middle of the walkway-it covered the entire aisle, which was at least 30 feet wide-and I heard some moaning coming from underneath it. I started pulling book after book off of the pile, trying to dig to the moaning. "Are you okay?" I say, hoping they can still hear me. I get a small response, although I can barely hear it. More and more books start flying off the pile as I pick up pace, and one of them hits me in the face. _Wait a second…_

A lot of the books suddenly began flying from the pile, causing it to shrink considerably. They started forming piles along one of the bookshelves, while also hitting and rebounding off of me. I step away from the pile and out of the firing range. It takes a few seconds for the books to stop flying. Where the pile used to be now lays Koakuma with a magic circle around her wrist. _Oh no. Not her. What did Marisa say to do? Not to… What?_

"Well, that was unpleasant," she said, dispersing the circle. She gets up, and of course, immediately spots me standing along the other bookcase. "Hey... You're the kid from before!" _Kid. I haven't considered myself a kid for a long time._

My best bet, apart from disappearing using those shadows again, is probably to play to her better side. "Y-yeah... Sorry about that whole... Shoving you and disappearing thing... It kind of just... Happened." I say, rubbing the back of my head with my free hand. My other one is carrying my book. Where else would it be? _The hell..?_

"It's all right, I guess," She says, walking over to the pile of books. "I did get chewed out for not getting the book here the first time, but now that _you_ came to _us..._ Wait." She stops in the middle of grabbing one of the stacks of books. "How _did_ you get over here? We're on an island, and people from the village don't really build boats to come over here." _Ah shit._

"W-well, actually I came over here with _Marisa_, and-"

"Marisa actually showed up?" She rudely interrupts me, although I can't really stay mad at her. _I'm feeling very odd today._ She outright drops the pile of books she picked up, although they miraculously don't fall over. "And she brought you. She must be better at searching than I am." She begins to walk over to where I am. "I suppose she's going to go see Miss Patchouli, and I guess that just leaves you and me. So." She's directly in front of me at this point. It's taking a lot of will to actually concentrate at this point. "_What do you want to do with me?_"

I feel like I'm standing in a Venus flytrap, and I've already triggered one of the feelers... Speaking of which.

"I-I'm going to run now." And run I do. I sprint down the hall towards the center pathway. I hear her yell at me, but I can't make out what she says. I manage to make out the shadows of things she begins to throw at me, which after they embed themselves in the shelves I notice are Kunai. Purple ones, for whatever reason. _She really wants to kill me!_ I turn to the right and turn into another aisle three down to the left, hoping to throw her off. Just in case, I prepare myself to launch some Danmaku at her. It's the best I've got, and like what Marisa said, they still pack a punch.

Eventually Koakuma flies by with a few books floating around her, open and projecting more magic circles. _I can see why Keine wouldn't let me learn magic. They really _are_ crazy._ When she looks down the hall I launch my bullets at her and they manage to knock her around a bit. They even knock down two of the books that were floating around her.

"What the hell?" She says, and then the books begin launching more of those purple kunai at me. I manage to back away from most of them, but one grazes my shoulder. Surprisingly enough, even though they look real, they're just Danmaku. I fire a few of my own back at her and begin to run away. I notice my first mistake immediately. This hallway extends farther than I can see. I would be running forever if I wanted to get out of here. My second mistake was that if anyone who can use a spellcard can use Danmaku, the inverse might just be true. I realize this as I hear it being called out.

**Demon Possession** "Voile"!

Suddenly it feels like the entire room is warping around me. The bookshelves close off the top and books close off the entrances and exits. Books begin flying around me, both attempting to hit me and attempting to shoot at me. I try to shoot some of them down, but I begin to get lost in the colors of the shooting ones. There were a lot more colors than just purple this time. There were yellow kunai, blue kunai, red kunai, silver kunai, and green kunai. Being mesmerized in the pattern I didn't notice the books that made the walls begin to close in until they were barely a foot away from me on either side, and I had lost control of my body, just like the last time I met her. _I'll have to ask someone about that. Maybe that doctor from the bamboo forest._

I open my book to another page, seemingly at random like last time, and begin chanting more words. "_O arboris, cuius radices inuicem connecti plures mundos, permittis sapientia vestra tueri!" _(1)A single symbol begins to glow on the book, which looks like eight tridents pointing out from each other. That symbol then floated off of the book and began spinning in front of me. The area around my body began solidifying and turning into what appears to be a light-colored wood. It kept solidifying and conforming to me, and eventually I could _feel_ through the wood. Almost as if I was becoming part of it. Or it was becoming part of me. I'm not sure which. Eventually all that was left revealed were my eyes. And then three very large roots launched out at the walls of books, completely destroying them. It felt like I had just punched through Styrofoam.

The cocoon turns so I can get a view of Koakuma who looks absolutely confused. I'm confused myself, but not like I can show that. I'm kind of in a giant block of wood. I launch the roots down after her, and she manages to avoid them barely. She flies off yelling something that I can't hear through the wood, and the roots follow after her.

And now all I can do is wait. Wait, and feel.

* * *

Deep in the library in the circle of rectangle bookshelves, Patchouli was currently reading one of her favorite books of the week. She had gotten it brought in from the Outside World by bargaining with the Gap Youkai who had complete authority over what enters of its own will. _Utopia_, a classic Latin novel that was published in 1516, was her current interest when she had heard the all-too-familiar landing of Marisa Kirisame's feet on the ground.

"..What do you want today?" Patchouli said.

"Ah, nothin' much." Marisa replied. She set her broom against the table and walked around to read Patchouli's book. "Just brought you something you might wanna see."

"..That depends on what it is." she replied, setting her book down as for Marisa to not read it. "Did you bring back my library?"

"You can have it back when I'm dead." She said, placing her arms on Patchouli's shoulders. "No, but I brought what Koa was looking for~"

"What! ?" Patchouli stood up faster than Marisa had ever seen the Hikkimoroi ever move, causing her to fright back. Just as she had stood up however, a platter with tea had appeared on the table, causing Patchouli to knock it over, and spill it all over her book. "_NO!_" Patchouli tried to save it from destruction, but to no avail. The tea did not mix well with it.

As suddenly as the tea had appeared, it disappeared leaving behind a maid with a dishrag cleaning up the rest of the spilled mess. "I'm sorry; I didn't expect you to move so quickly..." Sakuya said as she finished cleaning up the table. She then threw the rag into the air and it disappeared, just like the tea.

"I... It's..." Patchouli stumbled across her words, completely taken aback from her loss of _the_ original _Utopia_. She then changed the subject, bringing it back around to Marisa. "Marisa. You say you brought what Koakuma was looking for?"

"Yup! She was looking around for this boy-"

"Oh..." Patchouli said, crestfallen. "I thought you meant the book. Koakuma's always looking for men to-"

"You didn't let me finish!" Marisa blurted out, with a slight blush on her face. "The boy _has_ the book! The same one you were trying to stop me from borrowing!"

"Might I interrupt for a second to ask a question?" Sakuya, who was staring off into the distance, said.

"Yes?" both Marisa and Patchouli said in unison.

"Since when were you growing a tree in the library?"

"Since when was I..." Patchouli said. "..I don't see..." She walked over to where Sakuya was standing and peered off into the distance to spot a large, ashen colored tree poking up from above the bookshelves. "Oh... Since just now, apparently." As Patchouli was pondering what kind of magic could have summoned a tree in her library without her knowledge, she heard a high pitched screaming from the pathway in the direction of the tree.

"Patchouli-sam_AAAAAaaaa…_" Kokauma had flown into view for about a second before she got grabbed out of the air by a large moving root the same color as the tree. Immediately after, Sakuya twitched in place, changing positions instantly.

"I can't get her out of its grasp with just my knives," she said. "It's a strong tree."

"Why did you just try to cut down a tree with your knives?" Marisa asked.

"I've done it before." Sakuya replies, twirling one of her knives that appeared out of thin air on her fingertip. "From a distance, as well."

"Talk later. Rescue succubus now." Patchouli had taken flight and was holding one of her many books. This book had a dark red symbol on the cover from a language long since dead. She had been fluent in it for the past 80 years. She opened it up and the cover began to glow a much brighter crimson. Her wrists caught on fire and the ribbons on her hat all changed to the same bright crimson that the cover was now glowing.

Marisa, opting out of using books, pulled out her Hakkero and begun turning the top half around like some kind of clockwork children's toy. Eventually 4 latches opened up on the sides and the front half opened up, attached to the back half by metal limbs, to reveal the inner workings of the Hakkero. Marisa placed a finger inside and focused some energy, creating a small ember inside of the central cavity, and closed it back up. The 8 trigrams began to glow red, and she aimed it in front of her, producing a satisfactory fiery blast.

Sakuya just stood there smiling, watching as the magicians prepared for the destruction of a mere tree. Before she could follow them along on their journey, however, a signal through her nervous system told her that her master was wondering what was going on in the library. Bound more to her master than to her friends, she stopped everything and prepared to tell her mistress about the boy in the tree.

"Aww," Marisa said, hopping onto her trademark broom. "I was hopin' she would come along. It'd be just like old times!"

"She's a busy cat." Patchouli responded, weaving spell circles through the thinned air around her. "I wouldn't be surprised if she never went out on a hunting spree again."

"What a shame." Marisa held her new torch in front of her and held a fairly large flame out in front of her. "Now, let's go make a bonfire, shall we?"

* * *

"...And the boy is inside the tree, possibly controlling it." Back in the mansion proper, Sakuya had just got done explaining what was going on inside the library to the master of the mansion, and the master of fate, Remilia Scarlet.

"I see..." Remilia responded. She propped her head up on her arm which was resting on the armrest of her golden throne. "..And he seemed to pose no threat up to this point?"

"None, milady" Sakuya said.

"Hmm..." Remilia began pondering about the possible things that could have set him off. And then she remembered one of the conversations she had with Patchouli, almost a week ago. She had just gotten a book, one that refused to bend to her. She had even asked for help from Flandre. Yesterday it had been stolen, and she had sent her familiar to retrieve it. Unsuccessfully, as her absence at dinner said. "And Marisa said he has this... _Book_, which Patchouli was looking for?"

"Yes, he was carrying one with him as he entered the castle grounds." Sakuya had gotten up from her kneeling position, and was standing in front of her master. She had to look up to meet her eyes however, as her throne added a lot to her height. "The same book was also the one hovering in front of him when I saw him inside the tree."

Remilia got up from her seat at the head of the house, and walked down to meet with her maid. "Take me to him. I wish to have... _Words_ with him..."

"As you wish, milady."

* * *

"Passion Blaze!"

"Agni Shrine!"

While the attacks that the magicians were calling out were the names of their spellcards, neither of them were actually using the non-deadly tools. It was merely force of habit to yell out your attacks. As they burned the many roots and branches of the tree, they began to notice that the tree wasn't burning, it was _retracting_. All of the offshoots were being pulled into the main root, and that itself was rapidly retreating along the route it had taken to get here. Eventually they pushed it back far enough to where they found Koakuma, completely encased in the smaller roots.

"Aha! There she is!" Marisa exclaimed. She then started shooting small embers to push some of the roots off of the devil. The remaining roots follow immediately after Patchouli, less carefully, blasted large fireballs at them. As soon as she was free, Koakuma flew directly towards her master, and hugged her with all of her might. Well maybe not _all_ of it. That might crush her. Koakuma may not be the strongest demon, but succubi were naturally strong.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!" Koakuma yelled. She then stopped her little internal praise session of her master as she realized something. Pulling her head away from Patchouli, who looked completely uncomfortable being in close proximity with Koakuma, she began to yell even louder. "_You cloud have hit me!_"

"Oh come on, Koa. I've lived with you almost my entire life, and I know all of your fetishes. You would have _loved_ it." Patchouli had almost entirely lost her collected and controlled demeanor that she usually had. While Koakuma's natural aura wouldn't affect Marisa, it had odd effects on Youkai, male or female. One of them, and the one that Patchouli suffered from the most, was that anything that they thought about saying would come out of their mouth, without time to think about what they were saying.

"Candle wax is _completely_ different!" Koakuma yelled.

"Hey hey hey!" Marisa was rapidly waving her arms in front of her, trying to keep the conversation out of her head. It wasn't working very well, if her crimson face had anything to say about it. "We're supposed to be stopping a rampaging tree here!"

"You go on ahead, we'll catch up." _Patchouli_ said.

"Ugh!" Marisa rocketed off towards the tree, shooting flames at anything that tried to stop her from getting away from those two. Koakuma let go of Patchouli and floated off a few feet away. Safely out of her aura, Patchouli had to let out a few coughs from the tight hug.

"Of all the times for you to do that, in front of _her_? !" Patchouli had recollected herself, and was now directing her anger out at her familiar. "And I had to go and say 'we'll catch up,' like we were about to-" Patchouli had to stop for a second as another fit of coughs caught up to her. Koakuma just winked at her and flew off to follow Marisa.

"Really now..." Patchoulis sighed, organizing her thoughts. "First she gets into my diary, and then she does that... What am I going to do with her?" She then turns towards the same path the other two had flown down and follows suit.

* * *

_Feeling bad, feeling bad!_

Having the ability to feel through the wood, while useful in some cases, was also very terrible when you start to get lit on fire. Luckily whatever is controlling my body understands this, and is pulling them back. Unluckily, it's pulling them directly back to me. I'd rather not get a full-tree burn, thank you.

Eventually I can see that my roots had found their way back to me, and followed by them is Marisa. She was shooting fire out of the same block that she shot the laser out of yesterday, and it was _hurting_. Shortly following her was Koakuma, and another girl that I didn't know. _Maybe it's the Patchouli person Marisa was talking about earlier._ Whoever she was, she was shooting large amounts of fireballs directly at the roots, my roots I guess, while Koakuma opted for aiming directly at my face. Luckily it hurt much less, although I don't know if that's because she's weak or because my body is more protected.

Marisa Spun the block, and it let out steam and stopped glowing the red that it had been earlier. She then spun it again in the other direction, which I can just barely tell from this distance was only spinning half of it, and aimed it directly at me. A small orb of rainbow light began to form at the front of it, and the look on the person that I believe is Patchouli's face darkened.

"Wait! But the book!"

"_MASTA, SPAAAAAARK!_"

A very large, very colorful laser shot out of the block and directly at me. I wish I could control at least my eyes, because whatever was controlling me decided to keep them open for the first second or so of it. It hurt much more than what Koakuma did to me, but not quite as bad as the fire she was shooting earlier. It did, however, manage to push me back a far distance and to nearly destroy one of the larger roots. The other two braced me so I didn't fall over, and when my eyes opened again, Marisa was yelling.

"Hey Patchy! Grab onto my shoulders!" Marisa yelled at 'Patchy', who is definitely the Patchouli she was talking about earlier. She did just that, and Marisa's block split into two parts. A few large yellow rings appeared from the inside, and formed some kind of central control point. 5 rainbow rings shot from the front and held out in front of the block. A much larger orb of rainbow energy began to form inside the yellow rings, and both of them yelled the same two words at the same time.

"_FINAL SPAAARK!_"

A much larger, much brighter laser shot from the block, and this one hurt much more than the fire. It knocked me very far back, and managed to knock me back into control of my body. I flew for a good 10 seconds before I landed back on the ground, and as soon as I did the wood around me began to fall apart. Some of it managed to stay, and I found out that those last two roots had attached themselves to my arms. They began to pull back towards me, and started to _morph_ into my arms. _Okay, I stand corrected. They _were_ my arms._ After that was done, my book, which was floating above me, closed itself and fell onto my chest. As soon as it did that I felt like I had just gotten hit by a truck. A very large, magical, rainbow truck.

As I was about to collapse into unconsciousness, or perhaps after I already had, Marisa was propping me against one of the bookshelves while Patchouli and Koakuma watched.

"Holy crap, Seren." Marisa said, the second she realized I was still alive. "That thing was _you_?"

"I'm... About as surprised as you..." I manage to say.

"And you survived a full on Final Spark, too. That thing wasn't danmaku." She said.

"I could tell..." I say, with much less effort needed this time. _Wow, I recover quickly from giant laser beams._

"So, what happened? I don't think 'turning into trees' is on the list of possible powers a human could have." Patchouli interjected. I explained how I heard Koakuma's crash, how she tried to seduce me, how I ran, and how I lost control just like when I turned invisible.

"Wait, you can turn invisible, too?" Patchouli seemed only half occupied with my conversation. She was too busy looking at my book. Wait, when did she get that?

"Yeah. And in retrospect, I probably could have just done that and hid from Koakuma."

"Not a very quick thinker, are you?" Koakuma added.

"I could barely think at all earlier, actually." I say. "The only time I actually had to clearly think was when I was stuck in that tree. Which by the way, that tree was part of me. Or I was part of it. I'm not sure yet. Thanks for the fire." I finally decide I should stand up. Marisa tries to stop me, but I just push her away. I can stand very easily for someone who had just been a) A tree and b) Shot in the face by a laser.

Just as I had gotten up, a bat-like shadow loomed its way over us. Looking up, I could tell that it wasn't a bat silhouette, but a bat-human silhouette. Floating down towards us she began to speak.

"So you're the boy in the tree, hm?" She says. Her voice is surprisingly high pitched. "Not what I expected, not at all."

"What do you want, Remilia?" Marisa said to this Remilia person.

"Oh, nothing _much_. Just to talk" She lands, and I can tell why her voice is so high-pitched; she's only a child. She's dressed in red-tinted clothes with bright red trimming and a large red bow on her back.

"Talking can mean anything with you, Remi." Patchouli said.

"Milady," The maid from earlier once again appeared from thin air, right next to Remilia. "Flandre has been informed of Marisa's presence in the library, as per your orders."

"Ah, thank you Sakuya." _Ah, so her name actually _is_ Sakuya._

"_You_..." Marisa exclaimed, taking a step towards Remilia. As she does this though, another voice, from far away starts calling for her.

"Ah, you might want to go deal with her." Remilia says. She points towards me and continues. "Unless, _you_ would like to play with her, hm?"

"That's... Remilia, you..." Patchouli stammers about for a second, as Marisa hops on her broom and takes off in the direction of the voice.

"Ah, there we-" Before Remilia could finish her sentence, a large explosion could be heard from the other side of the library. Patchouli and Koakuma immediately drop my book, fly into the air and towards the direction of the explosion, which was in a similar direction that Marisa went.

"As I was saying..." She says, walking a few steps towards me.

"Just for the record, I probably would have played with her." I say. Remilia falters for a second and continues walking. Sakuya gives me a sharp glare that sends chills down my spine.

"Ah, I'll keep that in mind." Remilia says. "She has so few playmates, and she can't seem to keep her toys in working condition." She stops in front of me. Suddenly, we're no longer in the library, but in a sitting room with a heavy tone of red.

"What the hell?" I say, looking around. I spot my book on a small table, about 4 feet around, along with the spellcard from yesterday, and the blank ones as well. "I didn't agree to teleportation. Or being pickpocketed."

"Ah, well I _apologize_ for the second part. As for the first," Remilia sat down in one of the chairs on one side of the small table. "Well, I don't think you would have liked the walk." I take a seat directly across from her, as two platters appeared on the table. One of them had a silver cover that you would see in a restaurant, while the other was empty. Of course, the empty one was in front of me.

"Is there anything you would like?" Sakuya says as she appears next to me, holding a pen and paper.

"I'm fine." I say. "Water if anything."

"Oh, but I _insist._" Remilia says, looking directly into my eyes. "Sakuya is an incredible cook. Name anything, and she'll have it here in a flash."

Something about this triggers red flags, but none in the form of death. So, without thinking, I say "I'll take whatever then."

"Oh? An _interesting_ choice. No one has ever said _that_ one before." Remilia leans back into her chair, her wings folded neatly along the edge of the back piece. "They usually order the most extravagant thing they could think of. Well, except for Marisa. She ordered a hamburger."

"You do this often?" I say, picturing a hamburger topped with everything appearing in front of Marisa, and her face lighting up like the sun.

"Not so much often, more like numerous times." She says. "Sakuya, bring him the first thing that comes to mind."

Possibly true to her orders, possibly not, a silver cover appears over my dish as well.

"..Manipulation of space and time must be handy for being a maid." I say, turning towards Sakuya. Her eyes widen the slightest of a fraction.

"What makes you think I can manipulate space?" She asks.

"Well, minus the fact that time and space are so tightly interwoven that it would be impossible to control time without having control over space as well," I say. "It's the only possible way you could move us while time is stopped for us. Unless you want me to believe you can stop the time of everything except for air."

"..Why do you think I can control time then? Why not just space?" She says. "Maybe I already had these cooking?" Remilia leans forward, apparently interested in my answer for this one as well.

"I pay attention. I've seen you twitch in place." I begin ticking off points on my fingers. "They're the slightest motions, but something is always different. The placement of your hair, the angle of your hand, the knife that you forgot to put away before you resumed time..." Both of their eyes widen at what I can notice. "It's the small things like that that will give you away."

Both of them look completely dumbfounded. Remilia's hand drops out from underneath her head, and Sakuya just stares at me.

"..That last one. That wasn't even for a millisecond. How did you see it?" Sakuya finally says.

"I didn't. I felt it." I say. I point towards the window on the other side of the room. "Mist from the lake is leaking in through the window cracks. It's barely there, but I can feel the shape of this room and everything inside of it because of it."

"W-well then, moving back to dinner..." Remilia had apparently heard enough. Or she was getting hungry. It could be either. Although I have one last thing to say.

"Before that, though. I have to ask. Why do you need to stop time so much?"

"I'm the only competent help in this entire place. The fairies are useless, and the hobgoblins are better, but still worthless."

_Hobgoblins? Those exist?_ "..Alright then. Good luck with that."

"Thank you. Now, for your meals..." She lifts off my cover first. "A dish of chicken fettuccine alfredo, with a side of greens, and as you requested, a glass of water." _Hmm. Maybe I should have said something other than water._

"As for you milady," She lifts off her cover. "A steak, medium rare, glazed with your favorite sauce on a bed of greens. To drink, a glass of red wine."

"Aren't you a little young to be drinking?" I say.

"I'm older than you would think." She says, as she takes a sip of the wine.

I take a bite of the food in front of me, and it tastes perfect. I've eaten all of it before I even noticed I was still eating. "Oh... That happened." I say, as I take a napkin and wipe my face off.

"Oh, someone _actually_ used the napkins?" Remilia says with a laugh. "That hasn't happened in a _long_ time."

"Some people just have no manners, I guess." I say. I take a sip of my water-Just water. No extra flavors or anything-as the napkin disappears out of existence. At this point I notice that Sakuya had left while I was eating.

"Now then, after you have eaten how about you tell me about yourself?" Remilia says. She leans forward into the same position that she was in before.

"That's not cliché at all... Alright then. I'll tell you all that I can." So I tell her about how I had come to Gensokyo, how the book had come to be in my possession, and how I had gotten here. She's relatively quiet during it, only asking for clarification on my reasoning for certain things that I did. I snake around the fact that I don't remember anything about myself or anyone I used to know. I'm not quite ready to fight that demon yet.

"Well, that was an interesting story," She says. She then leans back into her chair. "But what about before you came to Gensokyo? I want to know what makes you who you are." _And there goes the ball! Look! Look at it fall!_

"Pardon me for asking, but why?" I say. "I mean, not why do you want to know about my past, that's understandable. Trying to see if I'm some kind of enemy to eliminate me, or assimilate me." She twitches as I mention my expected reasons to her. "But why do you want to know about me at _all?_ I'm not that interesting." _At least I wasn't. Gensokyo kind of said no to that plan._

She just stares at me, peering into me with her deep red eyes. They glow, very briefly, but they glow none the less, and she leans back into her chair again.

"Be-_cause_, my boy, because, you, you, you..." She leans forward aggressively, never breaking eye contact. They glow again, this time for longer. She begins to get angry, and stands up to begin yelling at me. "You, waltz into _my_ castle, _my_ domain..." More glowing eyes, more furious yelling. "And have the _gall_ to _defy_ me!"

"_Defy_ you? !" I lean forward, and begin yelling myself. "I've done _nothing_ to defy you!" I emphasize myself by slamming my fist on the armrest. "Anything I could have done must have been by _chance!_" At the word chance, she stops yelling. But her tone of voice just gets even more terrifying.

"_Chance? _Oh-ho-_ho_, there is no such thing as _chance, boy."_ She leans over the table to meet with my face. I can smell the scent of wine on her breath, mixed in with the faint smell of blood. "_There. Is only..._"

_...Fate._

* * *

I appear back in the library sitting in a chair in front of an ornate desk, in the same position I was in in the sitting room. That one word. _Fate._ It was still swirling around in my head. I hadn't heard her say it, yet it was her voice who said it. On the desk, along with my book and cards, is a small silver box. I hear footsteps to my left and I turn to see Marisa carrying a small girl with blonde hair dressed in red, with metal wings that had multi-colored crystals hanging off of them. She looked to be asleep. Following them were Patchouli and Koakuma, both carrying stacks of books.

"Hey." Marisa says as she reaches the desk. She set the girl down and immediately she disappeared, leaving behind a thank-you note for Marisa. "So you survived, huh?"

"...I think I did, at least." I say. "If I'm not dead already, I will be soon."

"Huh. That bad?"

"She usually never makes Sakuya teleport them out." Patchouli says. "She personally escorts them to the front door. So I'd say you did, at least the _right_ thing, if not the smartest."

"..I'm sorry? I thought you said she doesn't do this?" I say.

"You're right, she doesn't." Patchouli says, "But then again, most people succumb to her ways." She picks up one of my cards-the one I made into a spell- and holds it in front of her. "I assume this is from the invisibility you mentioned earlier?"

"Yeah. Although I can't fly, so no use in trying to activate it."

"Not all cards are only usable in flight. Although, they do look different." Marisa mentions. She then grabs one of the blank ones and hands it to me. "Try it out with that tree-thing you did earlier, see if that makes a ground one."

I take the card and focus on what it felt like to be a tree. The same warm feeling from yesterday began to flow through my arm and into the card. It emits a green light, and then flashes brightly for a second, just like last time. When the light subsides, I see three large roots at the bottom of a tree. The name on the top says 'Great Protection "Three Roots of Yggdrasil" '.

"..It looks the same." I say. It does look exactly the same, minus the picture and the name.

"Ah, well at least ya tried." Marisa says. "Now then, dorry to run out on ya Patchy, but if Remi's mad we don't wanna stay here." She hops on her broom and motions for me to get on. I grab my stuff, including the silver box that was left on my book, hop on and into the comfortable chair, and after saying our goodbyes to Patchouli and Koakuma, who blew a kiss at me, fly off towards the entrance.

After we leave the door and out to the island, I hear a loud ringing coming from Marisa. Apparently she hears it too, because she stops us above the lake and begins to pat herself down for something. Eventually she finds it, and pulls out a small red... Cellphone?

She flips it open and begins speaking into it. "Ye-yeah Nitori? ... What? Why? ... Alright, I'll be over there lat- ... I'm kind of doing something rig- ... Alright! Alright! I'll be over there! Quit yelling at me!" She hangs up and after fake-throwing it into the lake, puts it back in her apron. "Sheesh. She seems adamant about something. We're making a pit-stop."

"A pit-stop? Why do you have a cellphone? Who's Nitori?" A stream of questions flow out of my mouth, but instead of answering them, she makes a 180 degree turn and head for the mountain to the north.

* * *

**(1)Roughly translates to: "Oh tree whose roots link together many worlds, allow your wisdom to protect!"**

**Aha! Took me long enough!**

**The worst part... I spent the exact same amount of time writing this chapter as I did the last one. I just worked on it less. *shrug* Ah well. I'm getting to work on the next one right away!**

**Reitaisai 10 has come around, and I couldn't have been more wrong about Byakuren and Miko's kits! Well, at least I was very slightly close with Byakuren's Last Word. And she _does_ use her scroll, but not as a trap. Also, Koishi, of all people, is playable. That made my day when I found out. And by 'made my day' I mean I was a babbling mess for a good few hours, and then I tried to figure out what her kit was. I was absolutely wrong about all of them for her as well.**

**Double Dealing Character... Ooh boy. New characters, new music, new wacky shot types (Hello ReimuA) and of course, new spellcards. Of all of the characters, my favorite has to be Kagerou. Her music is awesome, her fight is fun, and I just plain like those ears.  
**

**Going back to the story for a second... (oh nooo)**

**I begun the chapter with a bit of an action section (well by begin, I mean within the first third of the chapter) and I realized just how few chapters I have lined up that aren't action-y. I'll have to figure something out for that. I know I don't want it to be 100% action, but I might not be able to remedy that quite that fast.**

**Treeman, huh? I'd hate to be a tree. Even if that power is kind of badass, as you'll no doubt see.**

**Everything has to come down to burning with Marisa, doesn't it? Ah well. It worked.**

**Remilia seems to be interested in Seren... Oh wait, she's interested in every OC. (Nothing to see here...)**

**Koakuma-Patchouli exchanges have got to be some of my favorite things to write. And I'm going to love writing another story. It's all about Patchy and Koa~ (Although that one comes after my story that I originally wanted to write for this site. Still working on that, although I want to finish it before I post any of it. And by 'working on it' I mean thinking-of-what-to-write-but-not-actually-writing -it working.**

**I'm not sure if Remilia got drunk, or she got furious. I kind of lost track. (Random tidbit, she had at least another bottle of wine already that day.)**

**Fate... Fate... Fate... I wonder what's in the box? Probably his fate. Or some small piece of his body Sakuya took out while he wasn't looking. Could be either. (Speaking of Sakuya, she kind of alternates between cold-as-steel Perfect-and-Elegant-Maid and a friendly person who is really good at cooking in my head.)**

**Aaaand then random cameo from Optical Cellophane! Next up, we go to Meet the Kappa. (And no she doesn't play the guitar)**

**Chapter 4: Technobabble**


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